You Matter!

In light of a series of conversations I have had this week, I just want to share a simple message with you:

You Matter!

That's it.  You Matter!

You may be tempted to think that who you are and what you are doing in the world doesn't really matter or make an impact. I'm here to tell you today that's just not true!  Regardless of who you are or what your role is, You Matter!  

Wherever you are reading this right now, hold your head high, let your shoulders roll back a little, take a deep breath, and remind yourself, "I matter in this world!"

Because it's true!

You matter!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

The Thief of Joy

I was chatting with a leader this week and they said a phrase that really stood out to me.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I've been thinking about it ever since they said it and wanted to share a few thoughts with you.

In one of the trainings I do with leaders and teams, we talk about a disease I call Comparitivitus. Basically, it's a simple (silly) version of this beautiful phrase from my friend. When we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of Comparison, we will always come up with a feeling of falling short, or not measuring up to a more perfect standard, or not being enough.  And I think social media has made this 10 times worse. Most of the images we see on our platforms of choice are curated images of the best of people's lives (or at least the better parts of it).  Sometimes you will run into the minority account that shows "Here's what my regular Tuesday looked like when I went to Costco in my sweatpants to get gas!" But for the most part, it's "Look at this amazing sunset I saw tonight on my vacation in Bora Bora! #blessed" Or, "These are the most incredible cookies I've ever tasted, and look how cute they look with their spooky spider web frosting! #BestHalloween #Blessed"

I know I am exaggerating (kind of!), but when I see all of those curated images (and then all the ones the algorithm brings too), it's easy to fall into the trap of, "My Halloween cookies never look that good." or "I wish I could go to Bora Bora instead of visiting my family in Nebraska!"  I lose the simple joy of making cookies for my family because I am trying to make them "measure up" to some other standard I've decided is a better outcome.  Or I miss the joy and beauty of being with my family because I think I should be somewhere else on a more perfect vacation instead.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

So how do we not let Comparison steal our joy? I'm glad you asked!

I know it would be easy to say, "Just get off of social media" but I think it's more than that. I think it's about starting with a healthy perspective that recognizes most of those images are super curated (and only going to be more so with AI), so it's not realistic for me think they are the "standard" I should be striving for.  Then I think we add to that healthy perspective the process of practicing gratitude for what we do have.  I believe this two-fold approach - a realistic perspective combined with a good dose of gratitude - can really help to protect us from letting Comparison steal our joy.

How about you? In what ways are you tempted to allow Comparison to steal your joy?  Are there certain situations that create those feelings of not measuring up or being enough in some way? Do you think there are specific circumstances where you need to apply a more healthy perspective and practice some gratitude for what is already true? What other tools have you found that help you combat the disease of Comparitivitus?

Here's to not letting Comparison steal our joy this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Collecting Perspectives

I recently heard two leaders talking about navigating some challenging circumstances with a team.  They were trying to help this team learn some new ways of communicating and working together, and in the process, one of them said, "As I was going through the situation, I really tried to focus on Collecting Perspectives."  When the other person clarified what they meant, they described a process of really listening in a way in which they tried to truly understand and could see from the perspective of the other individuals.

That phrase - Collecting Perspectives - has been rattling around in my head ever since I heard it! As I've been reflecting on it, I realize this is more than just a task I want to take on. I think this is actually a value I want to work to incorporate into my life.

Here's what I mean.  If Collecting Perspectives is a task I am going to accomplish, then the purpose of collecting those perspectives is simply to help me achieve an outcome I want.  I remain the primary subject of the task (me getting what I want). However, if this is a value I want to incorporate into my life, then it shifts the focus from me to the other person I am Collecting Perspectives from.  It allows me the honor of truly working to hear them, understand them, and listen to their hearts in a way that lets us connect and deepen our relationship, and it has the potential of opening me up and expanding my own heart and mind as I better understand them. Maybe this is just another way to be curious (as I've written about before), but it sure feels like a fresh approach that helps me embrace a deeper value I want to live by in my life.

How about you? How does this phrase strike you? Are there certain situations or settings that come to your mind where exercising this value of Collecting Perspectives could be helpful and allow you to expand relationships and connections with others?  Perhaps there is a certain person that you are having a difficult time with that might be impacted by embracing this approach?

Here's to being people who live the value of Collecting Perspectives!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.