The Gravity of Humility

Hello!  It's your mid-week boost!

I recently ran across this phrase in a book I am reading, and it was too good not to share!

There's something attractive about folks who believe they could be wrong.

Maybe read that again?!

There's something attractive about folks who believe they could be wrong.

Part of what stood out to me in this was seeing the contrast to it in so many places in our world right now.  It feels like everywhere I look there are people who believe they can't be wrong. Which is immediately followed up with them declaring why everyone who doesn't agree with them is completely wrong! 

What a limiting merry-go-round of claim, point, & blame.  Claim to be totally right. Point out how anyone else who has a different opinion is totally wrong. Blame anyone not in agreement with me for making a mess of everything.  This absolutism in our thinking doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere productive!

But then I think about this phrase and some of the people I know who are quick to embrace a posture of humility and say, "I could be wrong about this!"  They have a growth mindset and an approach to life that is open and wanting to learn.  They look forward to discovering how they may be able to continue to grow and develop. They are often very quick to listen and slow to speak. They make room for others and can even create enough space where we can agree to disagree and still be in an honoring relationship with each other. 

This is what makes them so attractive - their humility and openness toward others, and when I am with someone like this, it's like gravity that continues to draw me in!  There is a Gravity to their Humility. 

Because I have encountered people like this, it actually makes me want to join them in that Gravity of Humility. Their way of being open and willing to learn helps to foster those characteristics in me. I am drawn away from my own tendency to jump to judgement, and instead embrace a posture of growth, working to open up space for others and their perspectives too.  

Do you know people who have this Gravity of Humility? What's it like to be around them, and what kind of an impact do they have on you? In what ways could you move toward greater openness, growth and learning in your own life, and how might that Humility create a sense of Gravity for others around you too?

Here's to cultivating the Gravity of Humility in our lives this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

A Confession

I was having a chat with a leader last week and they were talking about an idea that really sparked some deep thinking for me.  As I've continued to ponder this, I struggled with the appropriate way to talk about it, but then it dawned on me - A Confession!

Here's the idea - There's a big difference between being Rooted in Purpose vs being Rooted in Comfort.  First, a few thoughts, and then the confession.

Rooted in Purpose

In talking with this leader, they were remarking how decisions, connections, relationships, even practical business realities all flow so much better when they are Rooted in their Purpose.  They are able to be really clear about their fundamental Why* behind them - what makes them tick and get up in the morning. When they stay Rooted in their Purpose, it helps them stay on track and motivated to keep pressing forward when things feel hard.  They stay tapped into their primary fuel and know how to use it to create movement and sustain momentum.  

Rooted in Comfort

In contrast, being Rooted in Comfort has more to do with just trying to avoid what's too difficult. It's about taking the pathway of least resistance, which is sometimes a great idea if it's also Rooted in Purpose, but is often about just trying to get by. Sometimes, being Rooted in Comfort is even held up as the ideal, thinking that eventually the goal is to just be able to coast and relax. In fact, sometimes I think our ideas about retirement are Rooted in Comfort not Purpose, which you may or may not think is bad or good!

A Confession

The truth for me is, most of the time I waver and bounce back and forth between these two realities.  Sometimes I feel very Rooted in Purpose - I know myself, I know my work, I lean in with depth and am not afraid to tackle the hard decisions because I know it will create better results down the road.  But sometimes, the hard things just feel too hard.  It's much easier to slip into a position of being Rooted in Comfort and look for the easy way out. 

It's because of this tendency to slide from Purpose to Comfort that I know I need to embrace two things.  First, some grace for myself. If I beat myself up too badly for slipping into Comfort, it can actually become harder to get back to my Purpose.  But when I give myself some grace when it happens, it's easier to remember my Purpose and then jump back onto that track.  Second, I've created some visual reminders for myself that I can see on a fairly regular basis that help to remind me of my Purpose. I've got a note on my tablet with a message I see whenever I open it. I've got a painted rock on my desk with a symbol and a phrase that helps keep me focused. These small aids remind me of who I am at my core, and that helps me stay Rooted in Purpose.

How about you?  Think of a time when you were clearly Rooted in Purpose.  What did it feel like? How did it impact the decisions you made? When you find yourself slipping into being Rooted in Comfort, what helps you recognize it and how do you jump back onto the Purpose track?  How could you extend some grace to yourself so you weren't punishing yourself, but you were just making the adjustments you need to get back to your core?

Here's to leaning into being Rooted in Purpose this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

*For some great info on understanding your Why, check out this Ted talk by Simon Sinek or read his book, Start With Why.

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Bearing Witness

Welcome to your midweek pick me up!

Oops! It happened again - a series of conversations and circumstances led me to this week's topic, Bearing Witness!

First, I heard stories of people showing up for someone in their life, or they had someone show up for them. Then, I witnessed various groups of people gathering together to express their collective concerns for another group of people, mostly those who are on the "margins" of society. Next, I had a friend whose elderly mother passed away and a coworker of theirs didn't really say anything, they just gave their friend a hug, and it meant everything to them.  Finally, I was having a conversation with a leader and they said, "Often, my most valuable tool is to simply come alongside the people I lead and just bear witness with them to their work and lives."

And there it was - the phrase that perfectly expressed this thread I was seeing and feeling! So, I decided to write my own definition (I know, kind of presumptuous of me, but words matter and sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is to try and put things into my own words because they stick better)!

Bearing Witness: The act of simply showing up for another person; joining with others in a simple act of solidarity motivated by compassion and empathy; finding the common thread of human connection with another in a way that helps both parties know they aren't alone.

Maybe we could give ourselves a small gift today? Rather than powering our way through the rest of this email,  what if we slowed down and took a few extra moments to reflect on the following:

When was a time someone simply showed up for you? Did they even have to use words?  Who was it and how could you be grateful for them and that moment? Be grateful that they bore witness with you!

As you think about your circle of influence right now, is there someone you can simply show up for this week?  How could you do that without needing to use too many words, or even any at all? Or maybe you need to use some simple words by picking up the phone and making that call, or sending that card? Bear Witness with them!

Reflect on a time when a group joined together to stand with someone or a group of individuals who may have been very different than them, but they did it because their compassion and empathy drove them to action? Maybe there is something happening in your community that really matters to you? Could you find a way to use your voice to show your solidarity? Take the step to Bear Witness in a collective way!

Is there someone in your life that you are struggling with? Perhaps you are on opposite sides of an issue, or they did something that really upset you? Rather than dig in your heels, could you look for a small (maybe very small!) thread of common human connection with them?  What would it mean to work to use that connection as the place to move forward and discover neither of you are actually alone? Find a way to Bear Witness to their humanity in a way that creates solidarity!

One thing is very clear to me, in each of the circumstances I was privileged to either hear about or observe, those acts of Bearing Witness may not have changed the trajectory of the world, but they made an incredibly significant impact on the individuals who were receiving them!

Here's to being people who are willing to Bear Witness with others this week (and beyond)! It matters!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.