Story

Sitting with me around the large rectangle of tables (with a few extras added on zoom) was a collaborative team of about 25 people. This group oversaw one section of work under a very large organization. Spread out around the room was "the leader," the second in charge, 4 team leaders, and all of the individuals who made up each of the teams.  They had invited me in to facilitate a conversation with them about how to take better care of themselves.  Even though their whole team was present, they were still missing about 6-8 full time, unfilled positions from what their normal "operational capacity" would have been. As a result, everyone had too much on their plates and their stress levels were maxed, thus my invitation to help. 

As our time together unfolded, I gave space for people to open up with a little vulnerability and share some Stories about the stress they were carrying and ways they were trying to cope with that stress.  Not surprisingly, as various individuals started to take some risks and share, they didn't just talk about stress at work, but sources of stress at home and with family, and the ways those were impacting their work too.  It wasn't long before I started to hear comments like, "Wow! I had no idea you were carrying all of that!" and "I'm so impressed with the way you are juggling all of that and yet you still always have such a positive and happy attitude!"  They were starting to see each other as more than just work colleagues, but as whole humans, and it seemed to raise the overall level of compassion and empathy for everyone in the room.

This is the power of Story!

When we take time to listen to someone else and learn more about who they are and what they are experiencing, our typical reaction is to gain a greater sense of compassion and empathy for them. Sharing our Stories brings greater connection and helps us know we are not alone in the world and that others aren't as different from us as we may have imagined. When we take time to give space for Stories to emerge, our sense of collective belonging grows and deepens, and we open up to even greater possibilities.

I realize you may be thinking, "That takes too much time! You had a few hours with those people, and I just don't have that kind of time!"  Then let me tell you another Story!  I have a part time job at our local airport, and sometimes I get to check people in at the front counter.  That process centers around a simple transaction: you give me your ID, I look up your reservation, then get you and your bags checked in and give you what you need to head to security. Sometimes it's obvious people don't want to talk very much (especially at the 4 AM flight!), but most of the time while I'm looking things up in the computer, I'll ask something simple like, "Are you headed to [destination] for work or for fun?"  That question often results in a Story that might not take more than 60 seconds to tell, but still creates a better connection between us. The transaction doesn't really take any longer than it would have, but those small Stories generate the same type of results (compassion, empathy, connection, belonging), just on a micro scale!

This is the power of Story!  

As you reflect on your week, where did you hear some good Stories and how did they impact you? Can you think of a situation where you were able to share a Story and it created greater connection with the person you told it to? Is there a regular part of your work or life where you might use the micro-Story idea to help open up compassion and empathy a little more?  

Here's to using the power of Story in our lives this coming week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Pause

I wanted to share an idea with you this week that I've been thinking about for some time. I may have hinted at it in other messages in the past, but I don't think I've written about it as a central focus before. It's simply the idea of how powerful a well-timed Pause can be in our lives.

You may have noticed I didn't send a message last week. I was actually working on this one, but took some time away to be with my family. While I was gone, I made the intentional decision to just take a Pause for a week. It allowed me to be more present with my family and not have so much divided attention. 

I also shared a conversation with a leader recently who had someone come and confront them in a pretty outrageous way. They were on the receiving end of yelling and cursing, and a general explosion of emotion. This leader could tell their temperature was quickly rising within them, and they were in danger of having their own explosion back. However, instead of reacting, they simply said to the other individual, "I need to take a few minutes and gather myself" and they turned and walked away for about 5 minutes. That Pause helped the other person calm down a little, but more importantly, it gave my friend the opportunity to approach that situation with a sense of calm and clarity that established and maintained good boundaries.  

In another situation, I observed a leader have someone come to them with a question. The leader happened to be in the middle of something on their computer, so they said to the person, "Give me just one moment please." In about 30 seconds, they looked up and turned away from their screen, so they were directly facing the other individual and said, "What can I do for you?"  They intentionally Paused their work and shifted their attention to the other individual, which made their interaction more helpful and productive. I could also tell it made the other person feel seen and heard!

These are just 3 examples of what a well-timed Pause might look like in our lives.  What other ideas come to your mind? Are there certain situations where inserting a Pause can change the dynamic? What relationships are in your life that might benefit from a periodic, well-timed Pause of some kind? Maybe it's as simple as closing the apps on your phone and looking up to see the sun or listen to the birds chirping? Where might a well-timed Pause have a powerful impact in your life and work?

Here's to taking a well-timed Pause in our lives this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Counteract

I'm grateful for another opportunity to connect with you to share some simple thoughts that will hopefully bring some light to your world this week.

In recent weeks there have been several situations and conversations that have reminded me of a coping tool that helps me to Counteract the flood of feeling overwhelmed and stressed by all the news and trauma happening in the world.

Here's the basic idea: when life feels out of control and overwhelming because of all the big things happening in the world that are beyond my control, my ability to focus back on the small things I can control helps to Counteract that sense of feeling out of control and overwhelmed. 

Said another way - taking control of what I can, often the simple things right in front of me right now, can help to Counteract the cascading onslaught of news that leads to those general feelings of existential dread over all the tragedy in the larger scope of the world.

Or maybe this resonates better with you? There are times when I feel a growing knot of anxiety in my gut over the latest news and the decisions leaders are making that I can't really do anything about, but that I know will have a direct impact on my life and on the lives of people I love and care for. If I keep listening or reading the latest headline or post, that knot only grows bigger and more tight. But, if I shift my attention to some small action I can take - writing an email, looking up and engaging in a conversation with the people around me, reading a book, etc., those small actions help to Counteract the knot, loosening it up within me. 

One more way to think about it - Focusing on the micro - the small things I can be grateful for - the warm sun, the chirping birds, the smile of my friend - and actively taking notice of them with gratitude and intention, helps to Counteract the macro realities of the world I can't actually do anything about.

How do you actively work to Counteract those times when you feel out of control and overwhelmed? What are the ways you shift your focus from the macro to the micro to help you Counteract that sense of existential dread in the air? Are there practical, small steps you could take today, things that are right in front of you that you can control that might be effective in helping you to Counteract the knot in your gut?

Here's to doing what we can to Counteract the stuff we can't!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.