Help - Thanks - Wow

I'm grateful for another opportunity to pop into your feed with a message of growth and encouragement.

I attended a wedding this past weekend. It was set in one of the most picturesque locations I have ever seen. The ceremony was in a beautiful green meadow, next to a pond with horses grazing in the distance, and snow capped mountains as the backdrop!  It was one of those locations that just takes your breath away. Additionally, the young couple getting married exuded a passionate love that was paired with a deep sense of grounding.  Both of them came from loving families who were all there, and you could just sense this was an experience of real joy and gratitude. (And trust me, I've attended a few weddings in my day so I've seen plenty that didn't feel like this experience!)

As a person who frequently explores their spirituality, I found myself reflecting during the weekend on a simple pattern of meditation/prayer I heard a few years ago.  This pattern suggests that all we need for approaching life are three basic words: Help. Thanks. Wow.

Regardless of whether you connect this to spirituality or not, I think there is some real power in these three simple ideas.

Help!

I've written on this topic recently so won't go into too many details here, but will simply ask, Is there any place where you could use some help right now and who could you ask for that help?  Additionally, as you look around at the web of your relationships, are there others in your circle of influence who might need some help, and how could you offer to assist if they were willing to receive it?

Thanks!

You may recall I've also written on the power of practicing gratitude before, but we can always use a reminder to be thankful in our lives. Gratitude is a significant source of emotional lift, and it helps to relieve stress and anxiety. Practicing gratitude helps to shift our focus from what we don't have to what we do have, allowing us to adjust our attention from a scarcity mindset to learning to be content.

Wow!

Again, I've previously reflected on Awe & Wonder, the heartbeat of Wow, and yet how often do we miss the moments that take our breath away? The number of times I paused and just looked around at the scenery in that wedding location was kind of ridiculous by the time we headed home! However, it was a good reminder to not take that sense of Wow! for granted, but to pause and pay attention to it.  Are there some spaces/views/moments of wonder you are tempted to let pass without noticing them right now? How might your life be enhanced if you just paused and said, Wow!?

Maybe in this moment, as you are reading this post, it would be beneficial to just pay attention to which of these three, simple words resonates the most with you? Maybe for right now it's enough to just focus on that one and see where that mindfulness takes you?

Here's to embracing the simplicity of Help - Thanks - Wow this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Just Own It!

I hope you had a nice Memorial Day Weekend.  I got to spend some time with our kids and a bunch of their friends, which was awesome, and which also created the circumstances that led to this message.

There was a moment during the weekend when I had some expectations in my mind of the way one of the evenings was going to unfold, which turned out to not go as expected.  When I became aware of the change in plans that required me shifting my expectations, I reacted poorly toward one of my kids. I spoke from the place of disappointment in needing to adjust my expectations, but it came across as disappointment toward them. Of course, that was not what I meant and when I realized how my reaction was being perceived, I Owned up to not handling that well. I did my best to explain my perspective related to needing to adjust my expectations, and that clarity brought resolution to the situation.  In the grand picture of things it wasn't a very big incident at all, but it reminded me of the importance of being willing to Just Own It whenever we realize we have been a contributor to a misunderstanding, especially if it may include the possibility of someone else being hurt by our words or actions.

In contrast, I was talking with a leader last week who was working through two difficult situations with teammates. In each situation they were doing their best to Own their part, but the other parties handled their situations in very different ways. In one of the relationships, the other party was quick to Own the part they played in the situation too. They had a deep but hard conversation together, and it actually created a greater sense of trust and resilience in their relationship as a result. In the other situation, the leader Owned their part, but the other party acted as if they were completely innocent and didn't need to take any personal responsibility for anything. In that case, the leader I was working with felt like they couldn't really have an honest conversation, so trust was actually eroded in the relationship. This leader and I chatted about the contrast between the two relationships and how different they were when we are willing to Just Own It!

It's important at this point to acknowledge that we don't actually have control over whether someone else is going to Own their part or not. And there are times when there may not be much for someone else to own (like in my situation this weekend - that was primarily on me!). But if we aren't willing to take control of what we can, ourselves, and Just Own our part, we certainly won't move forward with greater trust and resilience. And when we do Own our part, it often creates an opportunity for the other party to Own their part too, which can lead to growth for all of us.

What does it look like to Just Own It in your life and work? Do you need to take responsibility for a mistake you made and do your best to correct it? If you have a situation in which you think the other party has most of the Owning to do, how could you take control of yourself and Own whatever part you may have played which contributed to the situation? Is there a relationship where a hard conversation might be really productive, and how could you lean into that conversation from this place of Ownership and curiosity?

Here's to being willing to Just Own It this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Authentic!

I had at least three different conversations last week that included some aspect of, "What does it mean to be authentic?"  That seems like a great question, so of course it's made its way into our message this week!  

What does it mean to be Authentic?

It means to be true to my unique self with all of my strengths, gifts, and challenges. It's about accepting myself for who I am with grace and honesty.  It is also a willingness to allow others to be their unique selves with all of their strengths, gifts, and challenges. Being Authentic recognizes that I am designed in a unique way and that is not the same way that others are designed.  So being Authentic means I give permission for others to see and approach the world differently than me. 

To be Authentic means I get to be me, and I also create room for you to be you!

What doesn't it mean to be Authentic?

It's not an excuse for bad behavior or an unwillingness to grow. Knowing who I am and working to understand who you are takes into consideration that we are also dynamic people who are on a journey of growth (hopefully).  As a result, I don't get to use being Authentic as some kind of excuse for poor behavior.

Several years ago, I was part of a group that included an elderly man who was often rude and mean.  When he was confronted with that behavior he responded by saying that was just the way he was made.  He used "I'm just being Authentic" as an excuse to act poorly and treat people with great unkindness.  That's not real Authenticity because to be truly Authentic means we know we are all a dynamic work in progress.

To be Authentic means we don't use Authenticity as an excuse for bad behavior and an unwillingness to grow and change.

In what ways are you doing your best to be Authentic? Can you be gracefully honest about your strengths, gifts, and challenges?  Are you making room for others to be their Authentic selves too? Are there certain situations or relationships that temp you to use Authenticity as an excuse for poor behavior and a lack of growth? How could you approach those circumstances with a healthy sense of being Authentic?

Here's to being Authentic with ourselves and others this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.