Open

I was sitting with a group of community leaders talking about some best practices for leading well and helping move groups and teams forward in healthy and effective ways. One of the topics that came up in the room was the importance of being Open. As we explored that dynamic, there were three critical elements that really stood out to me and that everyone resonated with as they emerged.

Open to Learn

There was a lot of conversation around the critical element of being Open to learn and grow. We might think of this as a growth mindset or having a beginner's mind, but regardless of what it's called, everyone in the room felt it was absolutely essential to progress. During this discussion, there was universal agreement that the opposite of being Open to learning needed to be avoided as much as possible. Here we named things like being closed to growth, or thinking you already know everything about something. We talked about the danger of being totally certain and unwilling to listen and learn from others as a true killer of growth and progress. Conclusion, we must be Open to Learn!

Open to Share

Another facet of being Open that emerged was a direct partner to the first, namely that we must be willing to be Open to Share what we know with others. We talked about the importance of not hoarding our knowledge or insights but holding a spirit of generosity toward others. Several people mentioned the impact various teachers had on their lives when they were younger, and how their encouragement sparked a desire in them to help others. They were using the experience of others being Open to Share with them as fuel for them to be Open to Share their knowledge and wisdom too. Ripple effects of impact that may continue for generations to come! Conclusion, being Open to Share is vital to the world moving forward!

Open to Fail

One final element that arose in our discussion was the importance of being Open to Fail. Several individuals shared stories that some of the greatest learning in their lives came from some of their greatest failures. What appeared to be failure turned out to be a spark plug for great growth and movement. As these stories were shared, someone pointed out how important it is for leaders to be Open to failure in others (and themselves), and to not be too reactive when it happens (because it will!). We discussed helping people see the value of the learning that's possible when failure happens. Conclusion, when we can be Open to failure, we can reinforce the beauty of our shared humanity and continue to learn and grow together.

How do these three areas of Openness resonate with you? Is there one that's easier for you than another? Can you remember a significant person who made an investment in your life by being Open to share with you, and what ongoing impact has that had in your life and in the world? When was the last time you encountered a failure and what did you learn from it? Do you have other ideas about the impact of being Open in other ways?

Here's to being Open - to learn, to share, and to fail this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation. 

Listen AND Hear

I was recently spending time with a group of leaders, and the organizer of the group posed a question they wanted everyone in the group to reflect on and answer. It was a great question, and everyone had very thoughtful answers that made a significant impact on the team. During the sharing process, there was a moment that really stood out to me. When one person finished sharing, they would call on the next person to take their turn. During one of those transitions, the next person to share said, "Oh! I was really trying to listen and hear what everyone was saying, and I forgot what I was going to share!" It only took them a few moments and they were able to recall what had been on their mind, but that small phrase really stuck with me.

"I was really trying to Listen AND Hear."

I think part of the reason that stood out to me was because of how many times I have been in similar settings and I'm listening to someone else, but my mind is actually focused on what I am going to say so I am not really hearing them. I may be listening, but am I really hearing too?

I know of another leader who uses this cool demonstration in a group setting to help illustrate this exact point. They give everyone name tags at the beginning of the session and then at some point they divide the group into two teams and ask them to take opposite sides of an issue and debate. After a few minutes, they ask everyone to swap name tags with the person across from them and now speak from the perspective of the person whose name tag they are now wearing. Most of the time there is just a lot of fumbling and stumbling because they all realize they were so invested in forming their side of the argument, they weren't really Listening AND Hearing the other participants.  They may have been listening, but their mind was actually focused on what they were going to say next.

"I was really trying to Listen AND Hear."

There are so many situations that come to my mind where this practice of Listening AND Hearing would make a significant impact - situations with my spouse and my kids; one-on-one conversations where my mind can get distracted by so many other things and lose the gift of staying present with the other person; even community settings where it feels like we've abandoned any attempts at actually Listening, let alone Hearing!

How about you? Where are the settings that you could lean into this practice of both Listening AND Hearing? Is there a particular situation where you tend to Listen, but your mind is actually focused on what you are going to say next, so you've stopped Hearing?  How could you work on both Listening AND Hearing?

Here's to working on Listening AND Hearing this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Support

There is a story in the Hebrew tradition that has two tribes fighting against each other. In the scene, the Hebrew people are being led by Moses who is standing on a hill overlooking the battlefield. As long as Moses is holding up his staff over his head the Hebrews have the advantage in the battle. But, as his arms get tired and he lowers them to rest, the momentum of the battle shifts the other way. In response to this dilemma, two helpers, Aaron & Hur, come alongside Moses and help hold his arms up all day until the battle is won.  One of the lessons I've always heard from this story has been, "Who's your Aaron & Hur?" In other words, who do you have in your life that is helping to Support you when things get tough?

Here's another way to think about this idea: My father-in-law was a Golden Gloves boxer when he was a young man. During a match when he was between rounds, he would have people who were literally "in his corner" - individuals who would get him a drink, bring him a stool to sit on, and a coach to give him insights and guidance about how to approach the next round. The people who were "in his corner" were providing him incredible Support while he engaged in some tough circumstances.

If we can set aside the literal fighting happening in both of these examples and think about this from a more philosophical approach, we see a critical element necessary for life and leadership.  Who's your Aaron & Hur?  Who's in your corner?

This week I've had the honor of sitting with three leaders who are starting new roles or taking on significant new challenges in their work. In each conversation, the topic of naming their Support networks was a critical element. We recognized that for each of them there will be tough situations ahead. Hopefully not any actual fights but certainly circumstances and relationships that will require some tough decisions and some hard work and effort.  We talked about how important it was going to be to know who was in their Support systems so that when things got tough, they knew ahead of time who to turn to for help.  We essentially tried to name who their Aaron & Hurs were, and who was in their corners!

As you reflect on your life and work, who do you have in your Support network? Who do you turn to when you get tired and need some help holding yourself up? Who can bring you some supplies to help refresh you and give you a break? Is there someone in particular who always has great wisdom and advice that might help you approach the challenges with a new perspective?  Who are your Aaron & Hurs, and who's in your corner with you?

Here's to leaning on the Support we have in our lives this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.