Better Conversations

I am currently in Oklahoma City for some meetings and had the chance to do a little exploring in the city yesterday, which included visiting the site and museum of the Oklahoma City bombing incident from 1995. Part of that community's recovery process from that tragedy was to learn from what went wrong and work to change the conversations we can have together as humans. One of those efforts includes this booth they have set up in the beautiful gardens that are part of their memorial.

When I sat down inside of it with my partner, here is what we saw in front of us.

I realize you may not be able to read all of that fine print, so here is the link to their website that explains more about this project www.memorialmuseum.com/betterconversations.

As we sat and read these words in front of us, we both looked up at each other and said, "We need one of these in our town!" The more I thought about it, the more I think we need one of these booths in every town in our world! So, for this week's reflection, I simply offer you their words. These are their 6 Grounding Virtues that guide their project of creating Better Conversations. As you read them, think about the ways in which you might use them in your life.

Words That Matter - The words we use shape how we understand ourselves, how we interpret the world, how we treat others.

Hospitality - Hospitality is a bridge to all the great virtues, but it is immediately accessible. You don’t have to love or forgive or feel compassion to extend hospitality.

Humility - Humility is a companion to curiosity, surprise, and delight. Spiritual humility is not about getting small. It is about encouraging others to be big.

Generous Listening - Listening is more than being quiet while others have their say. It is about presence as much as receiving; it is about connection more than observing.

Patience - Human transformation takes time — longer than we want it to — but it is what is necessary for social transformation. A long, patient view of time will replenish our sense of our capacities and our hope for the world.

Adventurous Civility - Civility, in our world of change, is about creating new possibilities for living forward while being different and even continuing to hold profound disagreement.

Here's to having Better Conversations!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Uncertainty

I'm wondering if you are feeling some of the same things I am sensing in the atmosphere these days? Uncertainty! It feels like there is just so much happening in the world that is unpredictable, coupled with non-stop change, it kind of makes my head spin!

What's the price of gas this week? Where's the latest conflict in the world? We just launched astronauts headed to the moon?! I've got how many messages in my inbox? Who just lost their job in the government? The forecast is calling for what this week? When's the next election and who's running again? What's the latest recommendation on best diets these days?

Seriously! Anyone else feeling that too?!  Uncertainty in the atmosphere!

So how do we cope when all of that is just swirling around us all the time?

I'm not going to attempt to give you a simple, 3 step solution to facing all of this, mainly because I don't think I'm that naive and neither are you! However, I would like to share some ideas and practices that I am trying and that I am hearing from others that they are trying. As you read these ideas, please don't think of them as a prescription or a cure, but rather more like, "Here are some ideas you might try, and maybe something will help us all cope just a little bit better with all this Uncertainty!"

Idea #1: Breathe! Find some time to take a few minutes of deep breathing while being still.  Over the past couple of months I have been pleasantly surprised at how just a few minutes of being still, closing my eyes, and taking some deep, cleansing breaths has made a significant impact on helping settle my nervous system.

Idea #2: Take the long way home! I have one friend who takes the long way home (20 minutes instead of 10) because that extra 10 minutes of driving makes such a big impact on how they walk in the door when they get home. I have another friend who still takes the quick way home, but they sit in their car in the garage for a few extra minutes before they walk in the door to help settle themselves. Either way, maybe a few extra minutes after work can help to leave work at work?

Idea #3: Get into nature! I was chatting with someone last week who was getting ready to move into their new place and one of the things they said they were looking forward to the most was getting to explore all the new trails around their new house. Maybe it would be helpful to combine Idea #1 with this idea and take some time to be still and breathe in some deep fresh air from being outside in nature?! Plus I hear Vitamin D from the sun helps with boosting our endorphins!

Idea #4: Be Compassionate! Figure out how to be kind to yourself and know that it's ok to not be perfect all the time! Or maybe being compassionate is about giving yourself permission to sleep in or to go ahead and play that game with your friends? There's something powerful about giving ourselves grace and kindness!

Which one of these ideas resonates with you today as you face the Uncertainty in the air? Do they bring up other ideas and practices you are trying that are helping you cope and find a sense of grounding in your life? 

Here's to engaging in ways that help us navigate all this Uncertainty a little bit easier!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Human 2

In one of my more recent messages (a few weeks ago now!), I referenced the importance of being kind to ourselves by giving ourselves permission to Be Human, especially if we are sick or facing difficult circumstances beyond our control.  Little did I know how much I was going to need my own message, because for the past two weeks I've been dealing with a severe illness that included 10 days in bed and a trip to the emergency room. I realize there is some risk in sharing that kind of vulnerable information, but it's relevant to this week's message - Keep Being Human!

When I took my lovely trip to the ER, I ended up encountering a friend who works there. I had actually sent her a text, knowing she's an ER nurse, wondering if she might be on shift that day, so when I headed up there, I knew I was going to see her. What I didn't know was the significant impact it would have on me to see a friendly, caring face once I got there. 

When I arrived, she came out to the waiting room and said hi, gave me a small comforting rub on my shoulder, and I then asked her to sit down next to me so I could give her a hug. Those small acts of kindness and comfort in the midst of some real physical struggle, somehow gave me a sense that everything was going to be ok. In the course of her day, they were very simple, small gestures of kindness and care, but for me, they felt like someone had thrown me a lifeline.

This is my point this week about Being Human - not only is there a permissioning we give to ourselves to be kind and gracious toward ourselves, but when we act with humanness and making simple connections with others around us, we may never know the significance of the impact those small actions may have on them. Our ability to Be Human toward another Human - to see them for who they are and connect with them on that simple Human to Human level can make all the difference in the world to them.

As you reflect on the past couple of weeks, are there moments like that for you when someone took the time to create a simple Human connection with you? What kind of an impact did it have? Maybe you can think of a few encounters where you had an opportunity to see and connect with someone else - where you helped them feel known and understood?  What kind of an impact do you think it had for them, and in what ways did it also impact you?

Having come through these previous couple of weeks, I can tell you the significance of this can't be understated, so...

Let's just Keep Being Human together in the world!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.