I Was Wrong!

I've been thinking about some of the hard phrases we sometimes need to say in our lives: I'm sorry! I messed up! I was wrong! When I was a kid (I'm about to age myself significantly!), there was a show on TV called Happy Days. It had this character named The Fonz, or Fonzie. He was the super cool character on the show and one of his traits was he couldn't ever say, "I was wrong!" He was kind of famous for trying to say it, but always choked on the word wrong. "I was wwwwrrrrrrr...!" I actually think that is exactly the opposite reaction we need to have about being wrong. Let's face it, everyone is wrong at some point (some more than others!), and if we are willing to admit it, we can embrace a couple of important lessons. Admitting we are wrong can help strengthen our relationships. If we have a situation where we have clearly messed up with someone else, and we aren't willing to admit it, we are ultimately eroding trust in that relationship, especially since they most likely know we were wrong! But if we are willing to own our mistakes and acknowledge to others that we are wrong, and even apologize when it's necessary, we are actually increasing our bonds of trust with the other person. Owning up to it can help others know we are people of integrity and that we can be trusted. Admitting we are wrong can help us learn and grow. One of the significant lessons I try and help leaders understand is how important it can be to cultivate a culture where failure is welcomed. Most of the greatest life lessons I have ever learned came from moments when I was wrong or failed at something. But if we are unwilling to admit we are wrong or have messed up, then there isn't anything to actually learn from it! Acting as if everything is always fine is a recipe for disaster, but admitting we are wrong can help us be curious and learn from our mistakes. Which one of these lessons resonates with you the most today? Are there relationships in your life that are being eroded because you aren't willing to admit you are wrong or that you need to apologize if necessary? How could those relationships be strengthened with a simple acknowledgement of not being right? Are there places you are not being truthful with yourself, and as a result, you are missing out on some incredible learning opportunities? If you're a leader, in what ways are you helping to create a culture where failure is welcomed and not hidden or ignored? Maybe a good place to start is just to say it with me, "I was wwrrrrong!" Be Well, Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Your Inner Wisdom

In the work I do, one of the roles I often take on is being a coach. When I am serving in that capacity there is a fundamental starting point that creates a foundation for that work: the wisdom a person needs in order to continue growing and learning is already within them. My role as a coach is to simply help them discover that internal wisdom, to see it and name it, and then to use it in their lives in a way that is healthy, balanced and productive.

For example, in the past two weeks I have had the honor of saying to several individuals, "What I hear you saying is...and I think that is incredible insight you already have for what you need in this situation!" They may not have seen it exactly that way, so I was simply able to name it and point it out in a way that helped them see it from a different perspective. And the power was, it actually came from them, not me. I was just naming it in a new way for them, but it was their internal wisdom, and it was there the whole time!

However, there is a level of work that is required to access this inner wisdom that involves learning to trust ourselves and believing that we actually have it! And maybe this is the most challenging part of this, because we often tend to second guess ourselves. The power of having this inner wisdom is actually trusting that it's there and then acting on it.

By way of encouragement, allow me to suggest two phrases for you to consider:

You've got this!

Who do you have in your life that you can use as a sounding board who will be a champion in helping you believe in yourself? Is there someone you know who will listen with support and encouragement and name the inner wisdom you have in a way that helps you know, "You've got this!"?

I've got this!

In the course of any given day or situation, we don't always have access to those external voices of support, so it's important we develop that for ourselves too. Sometimes the person we need to hear from the most is ourselves! It's almost like we are our own coach who is standing back and reminding us, "I've got this!" We can serve as our own voice of encouragement to trust our inner wisdom.

How could you embrace your own inner wisdom a little more this week? Who do you trust to be a voice of support and encouragement, and what would it take for you to reach out to them and get some feedback? Is there a situation where you are allowing yourself fall into second-guessing, and how could you serve as your own coach and remind yourself of your own, inner wisdom?

I've seen this play out in enough situations in my role as a coach now, that I can honestly say, "You've got this!"

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

What's Your Shadow Like?

I was with a great group of leaders last week facilitating a leadership training session. We were talking about different kinds of leaders we've all worked with in the past. It was pretty easy to identify both good ones and bad ones. When I asked the participants to describe in more detail what those differences were like, one of the people said, "I worked with a supervisor once who created fear every time they walked into the building, and I was always having to go around and clean up after they left." Scary!

I believe that each one of us, regardless of our position or leadership "status" is actually creating and making an impact with our presence whether we want to be or not! In many ways, it's like casting a shadow. We can't turn our shadow off whenever we want, it's just a reality that follows us everywhere (I realize we can turn off our shadow by turning off the lights, but then we wouldn't be able to see to get anything done, so not really an option).

During this month of October we tend to welcome things that are scary, but I'm not sure this is one of the things we want to welcome - a shadow that casts a negative presence everywhere we go. Instead, it seems like we want our shadows to be something people are grateful to have been in. We want others to be glad when we've been around and maybe even look forward to when we walk into their space!

So, what kind of a shadow do you think you are casting? What could you do to make your shadow less scary and more pleasant? How could you pay attention to the people around you in a way that left them feeling grateful you were there, instead of needing to recover from your visit? Are there approaches you could take, even when you have to engage in hard conversations with others, that would help them feel like you were being fair and kind, despite the difficulty of the situation? How could you cast a pleasant shadow, rather than a scary one?

Here's to being intentional about the shadows we are casting!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.