Pause

I wanted to share an idea with you this week that I've been thinking about for some time. I may have hinted at it in other messages in the past, but I don't think I've written about it as a central focus before. It's simply the idea of how powerful a well-timed Pause can be in our lives.

You may have noticed I didn't send a message last week. I was actually working on this one, but took some time away to be with my family. While I was gone, I made the intentional decision to just take a Pause for a week. It allowed me to be more present with my family and not have so much divided attention. 

I also shared a conversation with a leader recently who had someone come and confront them in a pretty outrageous way. They were on the receiving end of yelling and cursing, and a general explosion of emotion. This leader could tell their temperature was quickly rising within them, and they were in danger of having their own explosion back. However, instead of reacting, they simply said to the other individual, "I need to take a few minutes and gather myself" and they turned and walked away for about 5 minutes. That Pause helped the other person calm down a little, but more importantly, it gave my friend the opportunity to approach that situation with a sense of calm and clarity that established and maintained good boundaries.  

In another situation, I observed a leader have someone come to them with a question. The leader happened to be in the middle of something on their computer, so they said to the person, "Give me just one moment please." In about 30 seconds, they looked up and turned away from their screen, so they were directly facing the other individual and said, "What can I do for you?"  They intentionally Paused their work and shifted their attention to the other individual, which made their interaction more helpful and productive. I could also tell it made the other person feel seen and heard!

These are just 3 examples of what a well-timed Pause might look like in our lives.  What other ideas come to your mind? Are there certain situations where inserting a Pause can change the dynamic? What relationships are in your life that might benefit from a periodic, well-timed Pause of some kind? Maybe it's as simple as closing the apps on your phone and looking up to see the sun or listen to the birds chirping? Where might a well-timed Pause have a powerful impact in your life and work?

Here's to taking a well-timed Pause in our lives this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Counteract

I'm grateful for another opportunity to connect with you to share some simple thoughts that will hopefully bring some light to your world this week.

In recent weeks there have been several situations and conversations that have reminded me of a coping tool that helps me to Counteract the flood of feeling overwhelmed and stressed by all the news and trauma happening in the world.

Here's the basic idea: when life feels out of control and overwhelming because of all the big things happening in the world that are beyond my control, my ability to focus back on the small things I can control helps to Counteract that sense of feeling out of control and overwhelmed. 

Said another way - taking control of what I can, often the simple things right in front of me right now, can help to Counteract the cascading onslaught of news that leads to those general feelings of existential dread over all the tragedy in the larger scope of the world.

Or maybe this resonates better with you? There are times when I feel a growing knot of anxiety in my gut over the latest news and the decisions leaders are making that I can't really do anything about, but that I know will have a direct impact on my life and on the lives of people I love and care for. If I keep listening or reading the latest headline or post, that knot only grows bigger and more tight. But, if I shift my attention to some small action I can take - writing an email, looking up and engaging in a conversation with the people around me, reading a book, etc., those small actions help to Counteract the knot, loosening it up within me. 

One more way to think about it - Focusing on the micro - the small things I can be grateful for - the warm sun, the chirping birds, the smile of my friend - and actively taking notice of them with gratitude and intention, helps to Counteract the macro realities of the world I can't actually do anything about.

How do you actively work to Counteract those times when you feel out of control and overwhelmed? What are the ways you shift your focus from the macro to the micro to help you Counteract that sense of existential dread in the air? Are there practical, small steps you could take today, things that are right in front of you that you can control that might be effective in helping you to Counteract the knot in your gut?

Here's to doing what we can to Counteract the stuff we can't!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Community

I recently attended two different gatherings of leaders where the idea of Community was talked about in ways that made me think. In one setting, Community was described primarily as a way to help people and businesses produce more. It was seen as a tool for helping to advance greater acquisition of power and money. There were some hints of that power and money being beneficial to making a difference in the world, or to providing some greater freedom for the people who acquired them to be able to live better lives. And while there were a few exceptions in the room, from my perspective (and I am willing to admit my bias here) Community was viewed mostly as another tool toward the goal of gaining more power and money. 

The other gathering involved people who had competing businesses on opposite sides of their street - like they were literally across the street from each other, and they both had the same kind of business! Our gathering was hosted in one of the spaces, and the owner of the other business was there to participate in our conversation on leadership. As I listened to the conversation unfold, I heard them talk about how they would encourage patrons from one location to go to the other location because they were open later.  I heard them talk about crossing the street to spend time listening to each other and getting to know their neighbors. They talked about Community in a different way - as if their participation in Community was critical to their wellbeing as humans in the world. They didn't view Community as a tool for gaining more (patrons, power or money), but as a necessity for them to live good lives and be good humans and neighbors in the world.  

At first, I was only able to identify the contrast between the two spaces through a gut level feeling I had after participating in them. Afterward I was able to talk with a close friend who helped me sort through some of my feelings, which has helped me to begin to identify what I am sharing with you here. I certainly don't think I am done processing, but I am at least able to make simple observations about Community that may be helpful for all of us.

First, the way we engage in Community can have very different outcomes. We can use it like a tool for helping us get more, which can be effective, but also seems like a shallow objective in the larger reality of life.  We can also engage with it in ways that make us more human - that allows us to be better neighbors and friends. Used the first way, Community is a tool for our own personal gain, but used in the second way, Community actually helps to generate greater and healthier Community. It literally help to grow itself!

Second, Community is necessary for all of us to function. Regardless of how we engage with it, Community is actually an important component of moving forward in life. We need it because none of us can actually survive without it.

Finally, the way we engage in Community requires intention on our part. In both settings, people were engaging intentionally, but with different motives and objectives. We get to decide how we want to intentionally engage with it in our lives. 

I want to once again acknowledge my bias that I think one way to engage is better than the other, and you don't have to agree with me about that. However, I hope that the point of this week's message is for all of us to think a little more intentionally about our Community. How are we engaging with it? Do we only have people in our Community that think and act just like us? Are there ways we can connect with others in Community that could help grow and stretch us to be better humans in the world? Is there a street we need to cross?

Here's to intentionally engaging in Community this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.