Counteract

I'm grateful for another opportunity to connect with you to share some simple thoughts that will hopefully bring some light to your world this week.

In recent weeks there have been several situations and conversations that have reminded me of a coping tool that helps me to Counteract the flood of feeling overwhelmed and stressed by all the news and trauma happening in the world.

Here's the basic idea: when life feels out of control and overwhelming because of all the big things happening in the world that are beyond my control, my ability to focus back on the small things I can control helps to Counteract that sense of feeling out of control and overwhelmed. 

Said another way - taking control of what I can, often the simple things right in front of me right now, can help to Counteract the cascading onslaught of news that leads to those general feelings of existential dread over all the tragedy in the larger scope of the world.

Or maybe this resonates better with you? There are times when I feel a growing knot of anxiety in my gut over the latest news and the decisions leaders are making that I can't really do anything about, but that I know will have a direct impact on my life and on the lives of people I love and care for. If I keep listening or reading the latest headline or post, that knot only grows bigger and more tight. But, if I shift my attention to some small action I can take - writing an email, looking up and engaging in a conversation with the people around me, reading a book, etc., those small actions help to Counteract the knot, loosening it up within me. 

One more way to think about it - Focusing on the micro - the small things I can be grateful for - the warm sun, the chirping birds, the smile of my friend - and actively taking notice of them with gratitude and intention, helps to Counteract the macro realities of the world I can't actually do anything about.

How do you actively work to Counteract those times when you feel out of control and overwhelmed? What are the ways you shift your focus from the macro to the micro to help you Counteract that sense of existential dread in the air? Are there practical, small steps you could take today, things that are right in front of you that you can control that might be effective in helping you to Counteract the knot in your gut?

Here's to doing what we can to Counteract the stuff we can't!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Community

I recently attended two different gatherings of leaders where the idea of Community was talked about in ways that made me think. In one setting, Community was described primarily as a way to help people and businesses produce more. It was seen as a tool for helping to advance greater acquisition of power and money. There were some hints of that power and money being beneficial to making a difference in the world, or to providing some greater freedom for the people who acquired them to be able to live better lives. And while there were a few exceptions in the room, from my perspective (and I am willing to admit my bias here) Community was viewed mostly as another tool toward the goal of gaining more power and money. 

The other gathering involved people who had competing businesses on opposite sides of their street - like they were literally across the street from each other, and they both had the same kind of business! Our gathering was hosted in one of the spaces, and the owner of the other business was there to participate in our conversation on leadership. As I listened to the conversation unfold, I heard them talk about how they would encourage patrons from one location to go to the other location because they were open later.  I heard them talk about crossing the street to spend time listening to each other and getting to know their neighbors. They talked about Community in a different way - as if their participation in Community was critical to their wellbeing as humans in the world. They didn't view Community as a tool for gaining more (patrons, power or money), but as a necessity for them to live good lives and be good humans and neighbors in the world.  

At first, I was only able to identify the contrast between the two spaces through a gut level feeling I had after participating in them. Afterward I was able to talk with a close friend who helped me sort through some of my feelings, which has helped me to begin to identify what I am sharing with you here. I certainly don't think I am done processing, but I am at least able to make simple observations about Community that may be helpful for all of us.

First, the way we engage in Community can have very different outcomes. We can use it like a tool for helping us get more, which can be effective, but also seems like a shallow objective in the larger reality of life.  We can also engage with it in ways that make us more human - that allows us to be better neighbors and friends. Used the first way, Community is a tool for our own personal gain, but used in the second way, Community actually helps to generate greater and healthier Community. It literally help to grow itself!

Second, Community is necessary for all of us to function. Regardless of how we engage with it, Community is actually an important component of moving forward in life. We need it because none of us can actually survive without it.

Finally, the way we engage in Community requires intention on our part. In both settings, people were engaging intentionally, but with different motives and objectives. We get to decide how we want to intentionally engage with it in our lives. 

I want to once again acknowledge my bias that I think one way to engage is better than the other, and you don't have to agree with me about that. However, I hope that the point of this week's message is for all of us to think a little more intentionally about our Community. How are we engaging with it? Do we only have people in our Community that think and act just like us? Are there ways we can connect with others in Community that could help grow and stretch us to be better humans in the world? Is there a street we need to cross?

Here's to intentionally engaging in Community this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Relational Equity

I was in a meeting this week where a participant brought up the idea of creating Relational Equity.  They were talking specifically about how they have tried to be a good teammate to others in their organization, and how they think that has helped them to build Relational Equity with their coworkers. From their perspective, by treating others with kindness and respect, and working to offer a helping hand wherever they could, they hoped it had helped to create some Relational Equity for them so that if they ever needed some help, people would be willing to jump in and provide assistance and support for them. I thought this was a great idea and it certainly lines up with some of the reading and research I have done on the power of leading through relational authority versus positional authority. 

There is one simple facet of this idea that I want to highlight which makes Relational Equity even greater, and that is also a fundamental key when we use it in leadership and life. It's important that we remember that Relational Equity is a by-product of building good relationships with people around us, not the goal.  In other words, if we are trying to build good relationships with people around us just so we can create a bank of Relational Equity from which we can make withdrawals when we need to in the future, we are reducing our relationships to mostly being about transactions between us.  But if our priority is just building and growing strong, healthy relationships, then the Relational Equity becomes a beautiful gift we can draw on in the future, not something we expect because we worked to create it.

With that facet in mind, how are you prioritizing good, healthy relationships with the people around you? Are there particular individuals you can think of that you want to help or serve in some way, simply because you care about them and know they could use an extra hand right now? Maybe you are in a position where you need to tap into the gift of Relational Equity you have already developed with someone, but you're afraid to ask for help? Why not lean into that gift and discover that someone else may be incredibly thankful for an opportunity to be kind and generous to you and show you some love and care?

Here's to living this week in ways that help create the gift of Relational Equity with those around us!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.