Liminal Space

I've shared before that a theme frequently emerges from a few, unrelated conversations I have with people in the course of a week, and when that happens it inspires me to share it here.  Accordingly, allow me to express a few thoughts on Liminal Space.

Liminal Space is the space in-between or waiting time. Here's a great description: "Liminal space is the uncertain transition between where you've been and where you're going physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. The word 'liminal' comes from the Latin word 'limen,' which means threshold."*

Perhaps you are in Liminal Space now, but regardless of your present reality, at some point we all either have or will experience it. To be honest, it can be a tough to navigate. The times I have been in Liminal Space have made me feel uncertain and even anxious. At the very least it can often feel unsettling to be in this in-between. Even though it can feel a bit daunting, I have found a couple of practices that help in navigating Liminal Spaces positively.

Gratitude

To be in-between implies that something has ended or is coming to an end, and the new thing has not yet begun. During this time of waiting, I have found great comfort in reflecting on what's ending and expressing gratitude for it.  For example, if it's a relationship you can spend time thinking about the ways in which that relationship brought positive impact to your life, and even consider expressing that to the person if possible.  Maybe it's a season, like the ending of a job or moving to a new location. What was it about that season or place that helped you grow or develop, and how could you express gratitude for that?

Rest

I'll be the first to admit I am not great at this. I tend to always think about what else needs to be done and what I could be doing next. But rest is a critical element for us to be able to function well and at our best, and one of the gifts of Liminal Space is it can lend itself to natural rest. The very essence of being in-between means there isn't as much to do right now (and don't worry, that new threshold is coming so there will be lots to do later!), so we can take advantage of the natural break in activity and recoup and rejuvenate.  If that's the case, what are the ways you could take advantage of the natural time to rest? How do you normally find renewal and rejuvenation and what would it mean to prioritize those kinds of rhythms in your life?

Whether you're in Liminal Space right now, or that time is coming, here's to navigating it with some positive intention!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

*Source

Experiential Wisdom

I recently had someone ask me if I thought they were being judgmental toward a person they are leading.  When I inquired about the context, I discovered this person has been providing leadership to this other individual for some time. I also learned that the behavior they were inquiring about wasn't a singular event but was more of a pattern of behavior.  That led us to talk about what I call experiential wisdom.

Experiential wisdom is what we gain after having been in a relationship for some time with an individual, a team, or even an organization. It involves recognizing patterns and making decisions based on the body of work we have experienced in that relationship.

I believe what differentiates experiential wisdom from just making a judgement involves two critical factors, time and curiosity.  The amount of time I have had in the relationship matters a great deal, because it gives me a body of work from which to draw. I begin to know and understand the typical patterns and behaviors of the person or the team, and so I am able to make some decisions based on that experience.  However, if I don't have much history with this relationship and I start making decisions on what I am observing, I am often in danger of doing that from a place of great assumption and judgement, and that can be detrimental to the relationship.  And this is where curiosity can be such a helpful tool.  If I don't have very much time with this relationship, then I want to really lean in with a high degree of curiosity and see what I can learn about the other party in this process.  And, if I have had a lot of time with this relationship, it's still a great idea to check in and make sure I am not missing anything.

Here is an example. Let's say I have a new person I am managing, and they come back late from lunch.  I could make a judgement that says this person is taking advantage of our organization, or I could lean in with curiosity and find out why they were late.  Now, let's say this is a person I have been managing for a while and I have noticed it is a pretty consistent behavior. My experiential wisdom is telling me this is a pattern that I need to address, but I will still lean in with curiosity and ask about the pattern I am observing, rather than just any particular instance of them being late from lunch.

What relationships do you have where you could apply some of your experiential wisdom? How could you lean in with curiosity to find out more about the pattern you are seeing? Are there some relationships you are using more judgement and assumption, and how could you take a different approach of inquiry?

Here's to using our experiential wisdom this week.

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Acceptable Tolerance

Before you think I am going to be political with this post, I am actually thinking about DIY projects, perfection, and kids.

I've shared with you before I am working on a couple of backyard projects and several of them require building. As with most DIY projects, there is an acceptable level of tolerance allowable that might be different than if you were hiring a professional to install and finish your cabinets. For example, the dirt box I built to help hold dirt on the side of my house didn't really require precision measuring, but the posts for my patio cover required a little more accuracy. However, even those had an acceptable level of tolerance (so don't look too closely if you come over).

That got me thinking that having an acceptable tolerance level is actually a great antidote to perfection. If I needed everything in my backyard to be perfect, I would still be working on the very first project, not moving on to the next one (kind of like the GETMO idea). While that may be true for projects, it can be a bit more challenging with people!

This is where the kids come in. Most first-time parents recognize the desire for everything to be perfect, and the quick crashing in of reality! You want everything to be just right, or as they grow, for them to do things the "right way," but you soon discover that when you allow for an acceptable level of tolerance, they may not be doing things wrong, they are just doing things their way (which might not be the same as your way). Kids helped teach me that if I let go of my ideas of perfection, and I am willing to embrace an acceptable level of tolerance, I discover the beauty of their individuality and what helps them be their unique selves.

In what areas of your life might you be able to use an acceptable level of tolerance to let go of perfection? Could it help you actually discover the uniqueness of someone in your life instead of thinking they are just wrong? How might you apply an acceptable level of tolerance to yourself, and could that help you take some steps forward instead of waiting to make sure you don't mess up? 

Here's to finding an Acceptable Level of Tolerance this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.