Experiential Wisdom

I recently had someone ask me if I thought they were being judgmental toward a person they are leading.  When I inquired about the context, I discovered this person has been providing leadership to this other individual for some time. I also learned that the behavior they were inquiring about wasn't a singular event but was more of a pattern of behavior.  That led us to talk about what I call experiential wisdom.

Experiential wisdom is what we gain after having been in a relationship for some time with an individual, a team, or even an organization. It involves recognizing patterns and making decisions based on the body of work we have experienced in that relationship.

I believe what differentiates experiential wisdom from just making a judgement involves two critical factors, time and curiosity.  The amount of time I have had in the relationship matters a great deal, because it gives me a body of work from which to draw. I begin to know and understand the typical patterns and behaviors of the person or the team, and so I am able to make some decisions based on that experience.  However, if I don't have much history with this relationship and I start making decisions on what I am observing, I am often in danger of doing that from a place of great assumption and judgement, and that can be detrimental to the relationship.  And this is where curiosity can be such a helpful tool.  If I don't have very much time with this relationship, then I want to really lean in with a high degree of curiosity and see what I can learn about the other party in this process.  And, if I have had a lot of time with this relationship, it's still a great idea to check in and make sure I am not missing anything.

Here is an example. Let's say I have a new person I am managing, and they come back late from lunch.  I could make a judgement that says this person is taking advantage of our organization, or I could lean in with curiosity and find out why they were late.  Now, let's say this is a person I have been managing for a while and I have noticed it is a pretty consistent behavior. My experiential wisdom is telling me this is a pattern that I need to address, but I will still lean in with curiosity and ask about the pattern I am observing, rather than just any particular instance of them being late from lunch.

What relationships do you have where you could apply some of your experiential wisdom? How could you lean in with curiosity to find out more about the pattern you are seeing? Are there some relationships you are using more judgement and assumption, and how could you take a different approach of inquiry?

Here's to using our experiential wisdom this week.

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Acceptable Tolerance

Before you think I am going to be political with this post, I am actually thinking about DIY projects, perfection, and kids.

I've shared with you before I am working on a couple of backyard projects and several of them require building. As with most DIY projects, there is an acceptable level of tolerance allowable that might be different than if you were hiring a professional to install and finish your cabinets. For example, the dirt box I built to help hold dirt on the side of my house didn't really require precision measuring, but the posts for my patio cover required a little more accuracy. However, even those had an acceptable level of tolerance (so don't look too closely if you come over).

That got me thinking that having an acceptable tolerance level is actually a great antidote to perfection. If I needed everything in my backyard to be perfect, I would still be working on the very first project, not moving on to the next one (kind of like the GETMO idea). While that may be true for projects, it can be a bit more challenging with people!

This is where the kids come in. Most first-time parents recognize the desire for everything to be perfect, and the quick crashing in of reality! You want everything to be just right, or as they grow, for them to do things the "right way," but you soon discover that when you allow for an acceptable level of tolerance, they may not be doing things wrong, they are just doing things their way (which might not be the same as your way). Kids helped teach me that if I let go of my ideas of perfection, and I am willing to embrace an acceptable level of tolerance, I discover the beauty of their individuality and what helps them be their unique selves.

In what areas of your life might you be able to use an acceptable level of tolerance to let go of perfection? Could it help you actually discover the uniqueness of someone in your life instead of thinking they are just wrong? How might you apply an acceptable level of tolerance to yourself, and could that help you take some steps forward instead of waiting to make sure you don't mess up? 

Here's to finding an Acceptable Level of Tolerance this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Energy Flow!

You have probably heard of a time study where you keep track of where and how you are using your time. This can be a really helpful tool for brining mindful awareness to places where time may be used more wisely.  

But have you ever heard of an Energy Study? Same basic concept, except instead of paying attention to your use of time, you pay attention to the way Energy Flows and how you tend to use it.

For example, I was recently talking with someone about their desire to give some time and space to a new creative effort.  In the course of our conversation, we processed their Energy Flow and discovered that the mornings are a time when they feel at their most alert and sharp. So, they scheduled some creative time for the morning.  Similarly, another friend and I discussed how their Energy is super low in the morning, but they feel like they can get twice as much done between 9 PM and midnight, so they are considering how to use that discovery to their advantage.

Now, maybe you are thinking, "That might be nice, but I have this thing called a job that requires certain hours from me." Or perhaps you're like my other dear friend who says, "I'm not really a morning or a night person. I'm more of a brunch person!"  I certainly understand there are outside influences that dictate components of our schedule and lives, but how could paying attention to our Energy Flow help us work within the frameworks that we have?

What are the tasks that require the most attention from you, and how might being aware of your Energy help you schedule or prioritize those? Are you like me and have an Energy slump in the afternoon? If so, are there projects that require less focus or that involve more activity and movement that could work well in those times? And what about the responsibilities that you know require a lot of Energy from you? How are you resting before and after them to make sure your overall Energy levels aren't getting too depleted?

Here's to working with our Energy Flow this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.