I am currently visiting with some family members who are going through some medical issues. Things are going well, but being in this environment and these circumstances have reminded me of a practice my partner and I have tried to adopt over the past several years - taking the time to actually tell people how you feel about them. It seems like we often leave a lot of things unsaid like, "I really appreciate/love you," or "You did such a great job with that situation." We may often think about them, but we don't always take the extra step to actually say those important messages.
Here are a few things I have found over the years of trying to put this into practice:
It Can Be Difficult
Taking the extra time to articulate those important messages requires courage and effort. It's easier to just leave them unsaid than to lean in, find the words, and let them out.
It Helps to Pause
Once we've found the courage to say whatever it is, we can also be tempted to just spit it out and run! But taking time to pause and give the other person a chance to respond, even if they don't, leaves space for the power and importance of the words to settle.
It's Often Worth It
There hasn't been a single situation where I have regretted expressing myself, and often, my words get reciprocated with something meaningful, even if it's just the other person acknowledging and receiving them. Many times, it opens up the space where they say something just as meaningful back, and we all get to share in the beauty of shared relationship.
Now it may be tempting to think I am mainly talking about serious situations or family dynamics, but I think this can be true in all kinds of circumstances. What if you took the time to tell a coworker you really liked their outfit, or you appreciated the way they handled that situation? Could you express genuine gratitude for a simple act of kindness you witnessed? What if you told an essential worker, like the clerk at a grocery store or gas station, you appreciate the good job they are doing? Of course, it can also be in those significant moments too, like reminding someone you love them, or they have really made a major impact on your life.
Regardless of whether the moment seems significant or minor, and even though it may be difficult and require some courage, I don't think you will regret going ahead and saying what's on your mind and heart.
Here's to taking a risk and Saying It this week!
Be Well,
Stephen
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