Great (but hard) Advice

Good Day, and Welcome to your Mid-Week Pick Me Up!

Or, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the US, maybe we should call this your end-of-a-short-week-and-the-eve-of-potential-stress-pick-me-up!

While we like to approach this holiday as an opportunity to practice gratitude (and it certainly is, and we should!), it can also be a time of stress with family, lots of preparations, travel, experiencing loss, etc.  So this week, I'd like to offer two pieces of Great (but hard) Advice I've received over the years that might be great reminders for us.

The first one is something my mom used to say to me.  Maybe yours did too?

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, so you can listen twice as much as you speak!

When I was a teenager and I heard her say that I would mostly just roll my eyes, but as I've grown older, I see all the wisdom in what she was saying.  When I look around at our world right now, it feels like I wish everyone from the highest offices to the smallest spaces could hear and take my mom's words to heart. But rather than just point at others, I know I need to start with me and remember mom's words for myself first.  I'm so quick to want to "say my peace" or make sure others hear my perspective, especially so they can see how right I am! Or when I do listen, I tend to only listen to their words so I can figure out my comeback, rather than trying to listen beyond their words to see if I can hear their heart and maybe make a deeper connection.  I hear you, mom - Listen twice as much as I speak. Got it.

After I take my mom's words to heart, then I hear the words of my friend James roar into my mind:

Before I speak, I try and ask myself three questions. Is it Kind?  Is it True?  Is it necessary?  If I can't answer yes to all three of those questions, I don't speak!

Come on, James!  Why did you have to tell me that over 35 years ago and I still haven't forgotten it?!  Because it's such Great (but hard) Advice. I certainly want to be someone who works to always be kind with my words. I also desire to be a person of truth and honesty, even if it's difficult. And I am continuing to learn that just because something pops into my mind, even if it is kind and true, it may not be necessary to actually say it!  I hear you, James. Use the questions to help filter my words. Got it.

So as we all head into Thanksgiving (and beyond) this week, maybe we can combine my mom's words and James' advice together into some practical help:

Listen first, then maybe speak!

If we start with listening to others, and we work to listen deeply to their hearts, we'll get off on the right foot and maybe make a deeper connection.  Then, if we use the questions to filter our responses, we may decide to say way less than what pops into our heads, which may turn out to be better for everyone.

Here's to all of us learning from my mom and James this week - Listen first, then maybe speak! Great (but hard) Advice. Got it.

Be Well,

Stephen

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