Our Part

I was chatting with a colleague who is a recipient of my weekly email about last week's message on Better Conversations. One of the things they pointed out to me was that engaging in these conversations would actually require both parties to agree to the Grounding Virtues. They helped me realize that while I just assumed everyone would want to lean in and engage in healthy discourse like this, not everyone is actually invested in moving forward in that way.  Some people are more invested in being right or maintaining their positions of power or authority than they are sitting down as equals with others across the table.

Of course, as the Laws of Entanglement would have it, I was also in a group coaching session where one of the participants was sharing with us about a very difficult leadership situation where they are trying to provide some direction and guidance to an up-and-coming leader. One of the challenges they are facing with this individual, and part of their ask for our group to help them process, was the fact that this young leader has all the right words and answers to questions, but they are unwilling to listen to other perspectives or receive feedback when "their way" may not actually be the best way. 

As an example, they asked this person to take on a task that had some pretty clear instructions about how to prepare a particular product, which they did. But the final product didn't turn out very well, and when the person who is guiding them asked them about it, they said, "Well, I didn't follow the instructions because I thought there was a better way to do it."

As we discussed this situation, one of the things that became clear was the focus of this week's message: Sometimes we have to remember that we can only take responsibility for Our Part. The reality is, that's true in every circumstance. We can't control what other people may or may not do. We can only ever take responsibility for what Our Part is in life.

Just this morning I had another conversation about this with a particular circumstance in my own life. There are things about this situation that I wish I could blame on others, or that I tend to wring my hands and say, "Well, if it isn't happening, then what can I do?!" But what I am recognizing is I have to be willing to take responsibility for My Part. It very well may be true that others aren't going to do their part, but if I'm not doing My Part, then I will continue to feel out of control because I am not taking control of what I actually can, which is My Part!

As you think about this idea this week, are there individuals or circumstances where you are tempted to want to place the blame on someone else? How could you look at the situation with greater clarity and rather than investing energy on blame, honestly look at what Your Part is and how you could take responsibility for that?  How could we (our lives, our teams, our communities, our world) all benefit from embracing a growth mindset where we leaned in, continued to grow, and took responsibility for Our Parts? How might taking a solutions-focused approach make it easier for us to look at problems differently and help us more clearly take responsibility for Our Parts?

Here's to being people of ongoing growth who are willing take responsibility for Our Parts this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

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