Stoic Self-Discipline

I was chatting with a friend last week and we were talking about a project he is working on related to trying to get better control of his time.  He works in a job that has lots of moving parts and his email and phone can beep and ring at any minute, shifting his attention to something “more pressing.” We talked about some strategies for managing his calendar and ways to navigate the “emergencies” that pop up so that he is working to be more proactive rather than reactive in his weekly schedule.  

I have to admit, it wasn’t a conversation just for him! So much of our chat resonated in my own heart and life too.

Our discussion was primarily driven by our desire to be people who live from our values, trying to live with some real intention and purpose in our lives.  This is what’s at the heart of the fourth pillar of Stoicism: Self-Discipline. While I have enjoyed thinking about the three previous pillars of Stoicism during this series, Wisdom, Justice, and Fortitude, this fourth pillar seems to really hit home for me.

The Stoics didn't think of Self-Discipline as harsh self-control or deprivation. They understood it as the practice of aligning our actions with our deeper values, which actually creates more freedom, not less. When my friend and I choose to react to all of the pop-ups in our lives rather than focus on being proactive, we aren’t really choosing freedom—we are choosing the path of least resistance. But that choice takes us away from something we actually value more: the satisfaction of working with greater purpose and alignment. Self-Discipline, in the Stoic sense, would be choosing to honor that deeper value even when the easier option is to react to the pop-ups.

I’m sure it’s not hard for you to imagine that these kinds of conversations happen regularly with leaders. They say they value being present with their teams, but then admit they check emails during one-on-one meetings. Or they'll say work-life balance is important, but they often work late and miss family dinners or activities. And I resonate with every one of those conversations! It’s not that we're bad people—we’re just choosing the immediate over the important.

The beautiful thing about Self-Discipline is that it's not about perfection. It's about practice. When I catch myself reacting instead of focusing with purpose, I try not to beat myself up. Instead, I work to notice it, remember my deeper intentions and values, and make a different choice the next day (or hour!). Some days I succeed, some days I don't, but the practice itself is what builds the muscle.

Self-Discipline is the daily practice of choosing what matters most, even when what matters least is easier.

What deeper values do you hold that aren't always reflected in your daily choices? Where in your life could practicing Self-Discipline actually create more freedom and alignment? Is there a small, daily practice you could commit to that would help you live more in line with who you want to be?

Here's to practicing Self-Discipline like a Stoic this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

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