Your Inner Wisdom

In the work I do, one of the roles I often take on is being a coach. When I am serving in that capacity there is a fundamental starting point that creates a foundation for that work: the wisdom a person needs in order to continue growing and learning is already within them. My role as a coach is to simply help them discover that internal wisdom, to see it and name it, and then to use it in their lives in a way that is healthy, balanced and productive.

For example, in the past two weeks I have had the honor of saying to several individuals, "What I hear you saying is...and I think that is incredible insight you already have for what you need in this situation!" They may not have seen it exactly that way, so I was simply able to name it and point it out in a way that helped them see it from a different perspective. And the power was, it actually came from them, not me. I was just naming it in a new way for them, but it was their internal wisdom, and it was there the whole time!

However, there is a level of work that is required to access this inner wisdom that involves learning to trust ourselves and believing that we actually have it! And maybe this is the most challenging part of this, because we often tend to second guess ourselves. The power of having this inner wisdom is actually trusting that it's there and then acting on it.

By way of encouragement, allow me to suggest two phrases for you to consider:

You've got this!

Who do you have in your life that you can use as a sounding board who will be a champion in helping you believe in yourself? Is there someone you know who will listen with support and encouragement and name the inner wisdom you have in a way that helps you know, "You've got this!"?

I've got this!

In the course of any given day or situation, we don't always have access to those external voices of support, so it's important we develop that for ourselves too. Sometimes the person we need to hear from the most is ourselves! It's almost like we are our own coach who is standing back and reminding us, "I've got this!" We can serve as our own voice of encouragement to trust our inner wisdom.

How could you embrace your own inner wisdom a little more this week? Who do you trust to be a voice of support and encouragement, and what would it take for you to reach out to them and get some feedback? Is there a situation where you are allowing yourself fall into second-guessing, and how could you serve as your own coach and remind yourself of your own, inner wisdom?

I've seen this play out in enough situations in my role as a coach now, that I can honestly say, "You've got this!"

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

What's Your Shadow Like?

I was with a great group of leaders last week facilitating a leadership training session. We were talking about different kinds of leaders we've all worked with in the past. It was pretty easy to identify both good ones and bad ones. When I asked the participants to describe in more detail what those differences were like, one of the people said, "I worked with a supervisor once who created fear every time they walked into the building, and I was always having to go around and clean up after they left." Scary!

I believe that each one of us, regardless of our position or leadership "status" is actually creating and making an impact with our presence whether we want to be or not! In many ways, it's like casting a shadow. We can't turn our shadow off whenever we want, it's just a reality that follows us everywhere (I realize we can turn off our shadow by turning off the lights, but then we wouldn't be able to see to get anything done, so not really an option).

During this month of October we tend to welcome things that are scary, but I'm not sure this is one of the things we want to welcome - a shadow that casts a negative presence everywhere we go. Instead, it seems like we want our shadows to be something people are grateful to have been in. We want others to be glad when we've been around and maybe even look forward to when we walk into their space!

So, what kind of a shadow do you think you are casting? What could you do to make your shadow less scary and more pleasant? How could you pay attention to the people around you in a way that left them feeling grateful you were there, instead of needing to recover from your visit? Are there approaches you could take, even when you have to engage in hard conversations with others, that would help them feel like you were being fair and kind, despite the difficulty of the situation? How could you cast a pleasant shadow, rather than a scary one?

Here's to being intentional about the shadows we are casting!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Give ME a Break!

After last week's message about wearing our Kindness Glasses, I've been thinking about another place we might wear those glasses that could have a big impact - the mirror!

I believe one of the people we have the hardest time being kind to is - ourselves. And, I would like to suggest it's one of the people we need to practice kindness to the most. We literally need to give ourselves a break!

What would it mean to actually decide to do that? Allow me to suggest three phrases that might be helpful.

I'm human - like everyone else.

This is about giving ourselves permission and grace to make mistakes and not be perfect. The truth is, I don't know anyone who gets everything right all the time. It's easy for me to extend grace to someone else when they make a mistake, but it's really hard to do that for myself. I act as if I have some kind of perfection standard that no one else has to achieve - only me! Give ME a break! I'm only human, like everyone else.

I did the best that I could.

This is about not holding our past selves hostage to our current perspectives. We use the phrase "hindsight is 20/20" all the time, which simply means we can see the past with greater clarity from where we are right now. And while that's true, it's not fair to judge our past selves on our current understandings. If we're willing to honestly look at what was happening in the past, most of the time we were doing the very best that we could with what we knew and understood at the time. Give ME a break! I did the best that I could.

I'll do my best.

This is about making a commitment to giving my best now, and in the future, and recognizing that I'm human and won't get it perfect every time. Making this kind of a decision ahead of time takes the previous two ideas and uses them to build self-compassion into our future. Let's be honest, some days, our best is a 7 out of 10. If we're committed to giving our full 7 when that's all we have to give, then we can practice grace for ourselves by not expecting we perform at a 9 on those days. We can show kindness toward ourselves by always being committed to giving our best, while also remembering our best is dynamic and can change. Give ME a break! I promise I'll do my very best.

Which one of these phrases resonates with you today? Which one is the most challenging for you to practice? How might your week be impacted if you put on your kindness glasses each morning when you were looking in the mirror and you started with that person?! Here's to giving OURSELVES a break this week! Be Well, Stephen Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.