EQ & Social Awareness - MORALE!

Happy Monday!

We are continuing our journey through the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), remembering that our EQ can be grown and developed within us!

Last week we reflected on Social Awareness as it relates to individuals connecting with other individuals. Today, I want to share some thoughts on Social-Awareness as it relates to organizations and teams.

In the same way we use the tools of empathy to become socially aware of the emotions of individuals around us, teams and organizations can also have a sense of collective emotion. Often this is referred to as morale or chemistry.

I’m a pretty big San Francisco Giants fan. When they were on their streak of winning 3 world series titles in the span of 5 years, we heard some regular messages. “We have a really great sense of team chemistry right now. There’s a great feel in the clubhouse.”

Morale is the term we usually use for this in the work world. We hear things like, “Morale is low. Morale is starting to improve. Morale seems good right now.”

One of the most important facets of this type of social awareness is realizing there isn’t any one factor that contributes to organizational morale or team chemistry. In fact, it is often a result of many, often small factors, which no one person or individual has the capacity to single-handedly change. But all of those individual choices make a collective impact.

This is why I believe the most important question every member of a team or organization can ask related to morale is, What impact am I making on morale? How are my small decisions impacting it? Am I mostly communicating in negative ways with others around me, or am I working to communicate in positive ways? Is morale improving or getting worse, and how may I be contributing to that movement?

No one person carries the full weight of any organization’s morale, but as a part of the team, it’s critical that I recognize I am certainly one of the factors that is making an impact.

What impact am I making on morale, and is it the impact I want to be making?

Be Well,

Stephen

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EQ & Social Awareness

Happy Monday!

We are continuing our journey through the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), remembering that our EQ can be grown and developed within us!

Today I want to share some thoughts on the third component of EQ, Social-Awareness.

Our journey of growing our EQ begins with becoming more aware of our emotions and their impact on us (Self-Awareness), followed by learning how to personally manage those emotions (Self-Management). Next, we focus our attention on the emotions that others are having around us. This is Social Awareness.

Now, it might seem rather obvious that Social Awareness is all about paying attention to other people’s emotions, but this is actually harder than it might seem. Allow me to mention 2 critical components in this work.

First, is empathy. Again, this might seem like a no-brainer, but the essence of empathy isn’t just noticing another person’s emotion. True empathy is about imagining what it might be like to be in that person’s situation and authentically feel with them what they may be feeling. It is more than sympathy (feeling for another), and is about joining with them in their emotion.

Second, is assuming. One of the critical mistakes we often make in growing our Social Awareness is that we assume we know what the other person is feeling. We imagine what it might be like to be in their situation and we project our own emotions into the situation rather than asking them what they are truly feeling. By asking rather than assuming, it's easier to identify with them from their perspective.

If you’ve ever had any type of motivational interviewing training, this may sound familiar! Authentic Social Awareness happens when we take the time to really listen to others and do our best to join with them where they are, in their space and frame of reference, including, and often most importantly, their emotional space. This is where one of my favorite phrases comes in handy - “Tell me more.” It’s an invitation to listen and learn from another, so we can join with them in their space!

Next week I want to share another layer of Social Awareness related to organizational awareness and morale, but for this week let’s see if we can enter into common space with those who are around us!

“Tell me more!”

Be Well,

Stephen

EQ & Self-Management

We are continuing our journey through the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). As I shared, one of the exciting realities of EQ is the fundamental belief that it can be grown and developed within us.

Today I want to share some thoughts on the second component of EQ, Self-Management.

Once we have started by becoming aware of our emotions and their impact on us (Self-Awareness), the next step is to learn how to better manage those emotions within ourselves. This is the essence of Self-Management - learning how to better navigate our personal emotions so they don’t circumvent and short-circuit our lives. This can take the form of gaining more control over our emotions, adapting our responses to them, and even adjusting our outlook to see our emotions as positive helpers/indicators.

For example, we might be in line at a store and someone cuts in front of us and we have an emotional reaction to it. Through our growing Self-Awareness we notice and get curious about the emotion of being upset or frustrated. But when we move into the space of Self-Management, we decide if we want to act on that emotion and say something to the person. Or perhaps we might decide to make a generous assumption about the person and believe they didn’t notice us in line. We might even Self-Manage and use this experience to recognize how important a sense of fairness is to us. The bottom line of Self-Management in EQ is allowing ourselves to grow in our ability to be in control of our emotions, instead of allowing our emotions to control us!

One of the tools I find very helpful in these first two stages of Emotional Intelligence is the wheel of emotions.

You may have seen (or used!) something like this before, but as we more clearly identify what we are exactly feeling (“I’m not just mad that person cut me off in line, I’m actually frustrated that I am not being treated fairly!”), we can take more effective steps to be in control of our emotions, rather than letting them control us.

Next week we’ll consider how we can become more aware of other people’s emotions, but for this week, perhaps the first step in Self-Management is to learn to step back from the emotions we are experiencing, and attempt to look at them from a distance. This will help us start to get them under our control, instead of us being under their control.

As we step back from our emotions, we will already be working to increase our Self-Management and our EQ!

Be Well,

Stephen