Your Shine is a Little Dull!

I have a confession to make - I like social media. It’s fun to get updates from people who I may not be able to see or connect with on a regular basis. But, I also have to confess, I think it may be inadvertently causing us some harm. For the most part, social media world is what I would call our “shiny” space. We post our pictures and updates of all the fun and wonderful things in our lives - our beautiful vacations, our wonderful partners, our incredible children and grandchildren - and everything always appears to be just so shiny! In the social media world - everything looks perfect and beautiful. Now I know I am overgeneralizing, and there are times when we post about hardships or difficulties, but for the most part (me included), our tendency is to post the bright and shiny spaces of our lives. The danger with this is, it can give all of us a biased perspective on what “normal life” looks like. We see everyone’s shiny lives and begin to think that is what normal is supposed to look like. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and comparison, especially for those who may be struggling in their own lives. It’s important to remember that social media is just a highlight reel and not an accurate representation of real life, just a slice of life that’s mostly shiny. I believe the antidote for this is making sure we have people we can connect with who are willing to see and accept us in the moments when our shine is a little dull. People we can be authentic and vulnerable with who are willing to stick with us even when it’s not a “postable” day! These relationships help to ground us in a more realistic reality, and they can keep us from feelings of not measuring up to a shiny reality that isn't fully accurate. Who are your “non-shiny” people? Those friends or family members who help to keep you grounded and aren't going to walk away when your shine might be a little dull? How could your relationships grow even more authentic if you thanked them for being who they are in your life? Here’s to admitting our shine is a little dull!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

With Kindness!

I work with a really great organization whose mission statement begins with the phrase, “With kindness….” I also work in another capacity that requires a lot of interfacing with the public. So, it is with a great deal of certainty and experience that I can say, choosing an attitude of kindness makes a significant impact!

I think it is critical that we notice that previous statement, “choosing an attitude of kindness.” When I am working in my role with the public, if someone comes up to me who is choosing kindness, it impacts me. In fact, it can significantly alter my own perspective if it happens right after I encountered someone who wasn’t choosing kindness! The choice of each individual makes a difference.

It’s also important to recognize that the place of greatest choice isn’t dependent on what others do, but on how

I choose to respond. While I may be tempted to respond to someone’s unkindness with some of my own, often if I choose kindness in that situation, my choice makes a significant impact. While it may not change them, it certainly helps me feel better than if I meet their unkindness in a like-for-like way.

With this background of choosing to act with kindness in mind, I offer the following ideas as jump starters to the way “With Kindness” matters.

With Kindness we can:

Make someone’s day

Disagree

Show someone love

Have a hard conversation

Disarm unkindness

Find gratitude

Build trust

Strengthen relationships

Create a positive work environment

What ideas come to your mind, and how can you choose to act with kindness today?

“With Kindness we can…!”

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Hang In There!

Sometimes we just have to hang in there.

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I am involved in hard and difficult situations or relationships, and my instinct is to just bail out. “It’s too hard. It’s too stressful. It’s too much!” We get fed up, often for good reasons, and so we make the decision to bail out.

That desire to leave a tough spot can also be clouded by the notion that there is something better, or easier somewhere else. This is “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” mentality. Or as another one of my friends calls it, the “chasing shining things syndrome.”

But what if life wasn’t always meant to be easy? What if sometimes, facing and embracing the difficult was actually the best choice?

I actually think there can be something powerful that happens when we make the decision to stay, even if it's hard or tough. Hanging in there has the ability to create a sense of perseverance within us, which can often lead to powerful moments of growth and development we never would have realized had we not stuck it out. It’s also possible that staying communicates a powerful message to the others who may be involved that we aren’t just committed to the situation, but more importantly, we are committed to them!

It is important to acknowledge there are times when leaving is the best choice (abuse, toxicity, manipulation, etc.), but those times are farther apart and less frequent than I think we realize. Most of the time, our desire to leave is simply rooted in wanting to make our lives more comfortable. Somehow, we think we deserve everything to come easy. The problem is, most of the really powerful and important seasons of growth and development in my life happened when I made the choice to hang in there and persevere.

In what areas of life are you wrestling with staying or going? What factors are you considering that are causing you to lean one way or the other? What might be the benefits of hanging in there and persevering, rather than taking the easy route out?

Sometimes the best choice we can make is to just hang in there!

Be Well, Stephen Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.