Sometimes I wish I could forget lessons I have learned!
When I was in college a friend of mine shared with me three small questions he asked himself before he spoke: "Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?" He told me that if he couldn't answer yes to all three, then he would not say what he was thinking!
Of course I had questions about his questions!
"What if it's kind and true, but not necessary?"
"Why would I say it if it wasn't necessary? That would probably only create trouble or drama that no one wants."
"What if it's kind and necessary, but not true?"
"Why would I want to tell a lie? How does that help anyone?"
"OK, but what if it's true and necessary, but it isn't kind?"
"Then I figure out a way to say it differently so it is kind, and if I can't, why would I want to be unkind?"
All good points, and you can see why there are times I wish I could forget this life lesson!
The truth is, these three, small questions have actually served me well over the years. I know there have been times when I failed the test and opened my mouth anyway, and usually the results were less than helpful! I have also discovered over the years that I can apply this to actions as well. Is what I am about to do kind, true and necessary? And if not, then why would I want to do that? When I am able to listen to these prompts and I take a moment to analyze my motives, I am often being driven by fear or anger or spite, and it's never a positive outcome when I'm speaking or acting from those motivations.
How could you use these three questions in your own life this week? Are there certain relationships where they could be very helpful for filtering your words or actions? Are there specific leadership situations where they might be particularly impactful?
Here's to using these three questions well this week: Is it Kind? Is it True? Is it Necessary?
Be Well,
Stephen
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