Project (The Verb!)

Welcome to 2024!

After inviting us to take some time to Reflect last week, I thought it would be appropriate to take some time this week to Project (the verb)!

Projecting at the beginning of a new year takes on lots of different forms and labels: image/vision boards, resolutions, goal setting, etc.  The one thing I think all of these have in common, and the primary root of what I think it means to Project, is to focus with intention.

The beginning of a new year always feels like a natural time for us to engage in Projecting.  There's just something about turning over that calendar page that draws us to make changes and adjustments in our lives.  But often, our intentions turn out to be just that, only intentions. However, if we Project with a little more focus, we may discover our intentions can translate into more sustainable actions.

Focused Projection asks the question, What?

What do I want for this next year, or this next season of my life?  Taking time to stop and actually put some thought into that question, even to the point of naming it or turning it into a vision board or a list of goals is actually very important. The more focus we can bring to our Projecting, the easier it will be for us to actually get specific about what it is we really want. A great tool for helping to focus more specifically on the "what" is to ask, "What would that actually look like?"  For example, let's say what I want is to be more organized this next year.  By asking myself, what would it actually look like for me to be more organized, I may come up with more specific things like, I want to have a planner that I regularly use to keep me on track and on task. Asking what our "what" actually would look like allows us to gain greater clarity on what it actually is we want! (What a wild sentence!)

Focused Projection asks the question, How?

For many people, "What" is as far as it goes, but if we lean into a more focused process of projecting it brings us to our second powerful question, "How will I get there?"  This is where we take our ideas of what we want and we begin to break them down into concrete steps of movement that allow us to create a path to get there. For example, if what I want is to be more organized and what that actually looks like is for me to regularly use a planner, when I ask myself "How will I get there?", I discover I don't actually have a planner so I better go get one!  And once I have it, I need to ask "How" again.  How can I best use this planner in a way that makes it feel like a helpful tool, rather than a chore or just another thing I have to get done on my list?  When I ask this question, I may discover that I don't like getting up any earlier than I have to, but I don't mind staying up a little later. So, if I plan to take some time in the evening before I go to bed to review my planner for the next day, some organizational strategies immediately present themselves (do I need to pack my lunch or do I have a lunch meeting tomorrow?  What time and where do the kids need to be after school tomorrow, and how does that fit into my day?  etc.). By asking myself the "How" questions, I move the "What" into more concrete steps!

Focused Projection asks the question, Who?

Once we've asked ourselves what we want, and how we are going to get there, perhaps the most powerful question then becomes "Who am I going to ask to help me stay on track with what I want and how I plan to get there?"  This is where focused Projection pushes us to think strategically about who we have in the fabric of our relationships and who may be the best fit to help us keep moving forward.  Back to our example of getting organized.  Asking "Who" leads me to think about who I know and trust that would be willing to check in with me and ask me how I'm doing with taking time each evening to look at my planner for the next day. I can then approach them and extend an invitation to help support me in this Project! Asking "Who" after we've done the work of "What" and "How" creates a support network for us that makes our focused Projection even more sustainable.

Next week I want to share another word with you in this process of Focused Projection (Grace), but for now a few questions to ponder this week:

Have you taken time to identify what you want in this new year?  Have you also taken the time to ask what that would actually look like in your life if it was happening? With your What in place, when could you create time to take the next step and ask yourself How you are going to get there? While you're at it, why not take some time and also ask yourself Who can help support you in taking the steps that were revealed from asking What and How?

Here's to spending some time on intentional, focused Projection this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Reflect

I recently took some time to read back through some of the entries in my personal journal from this past year.  It was a good reminder of just how important it can be to take time to periodically Reflect in our lives, and since this is my final message to you from 2023, it seemed like a good topic for this week.  

Reflecting can help us slow down

When we think about what has already happened in our lives, it forces us to slow down and actually remember events, circumstances, and even people we have encountered along our journey.  Often this can lead us to a greater sense of gratitude, and even give us time to celebrate accomplishments and achievements. Slowing down through reflecting can also help us learn from the past and guide us as we make decisions about moving forward in our lives.  It's important to not let the reflection lead us into a sense of regret, but rather determination for making change and identifying places we want to grow and improve.

Reflecting can help us see patterns

As I read through some of my entries, it was interesting to see trends and patterns in thinking that emerged.  Some of those themes were very positive, and some of them were a bit challenging, but all of them helped me grow in my own journey of self-awareness. By taking time to Reflect, I was able to discover patterns that I may have missed and allow them to spur me on in continuing those trends or recognizing changes that I need to make. 

Reflecting can help us gain perspective

One pattern I was able to witness in my Reflection was there were times when I was very concerned about a situation or a relationship, and it was obviously taking up a lot of my attention.  But in Reflection, I was able to see those things weren't nearly as significant as I thought they might be at the time. I was also able to observe that there were other circumstances and relationships that at the time, didn't really seem to be that big of a deal, but they actually had a significant impact on my life. By Reflecting, I was able to look back through the lens of hindsight and really gain some valuable perspective from my life.

During this final week of 2023, what do you think you might be able to see if you took some time to Reflect?  How could that process help you slow down and learn?  What patterns might emerge from some thoughtful Reflection on this past year?  How might looking back through the lens of hindsight help you gain a better perspective and understanding of just how you were impacted by events and relationships in 2023?

Here's to finding some real value for ourselves by taking time to Reflect on 2023 this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Bending Close to Listen

This past week I ran across this phrase while I was reading: "Bending close to listen - without presumption, but with curiosity."  I was really struck by that and thought it was worth reflecting on with you this week.

One of the first things that impacted me was the idea of needing to be close to really listen to someone. Certainly, you don't need to actually be close to a person to listen to them, especially if they are yelling(!), but if someone is that animated in their communication, there is usually some kind of barrier to them feeling like they are being heard.  It could be a physical barrier, like being in a loud environment, but it also could be an emotional barrier where they are so frustrated at feeling truly unheard it causes them to raise their voice. This is part of the reason I am so intrigued by the idea of bending close, because it implies that the motivation of the listener is to actually listen and really hear what the other person is saying!

It also is a powerful reminder that by bending close we get the opportunity to listen to more than just their words.  We get to pay attention to their body language and the emotions they may be projecting.  Bending close allows us to listen and sense what may be behind their words, which helps us come to a richer place of true understanding. And let's not forget, that is actually the point of any communication, two-way understanding.

This is also why it is so important to bend close without presumption, and instead approach with curiosity. If I'm honest, sometimes I will bend in close to listen, but with my presumption in place, which means I am still more interested in them hearing my perspective than I am trying to hear them and their perspective.  I listen, but only so I can make my next point! However, if I bend in close and let go of my presumptions and embrace true curiosity, I am much more likely to foster a space where everyone feels heard and understood.

As you think about this idea of bending in close to listen, what relationships immediately come to mind? Are there places where others are "yelling," and if so, how could you help to remove barriers in the communication environment to lower the volume? What presumptions might you be holding that need to be released, and how could you move in with greater curiosity? Who have you been listening to, but only so you can make your next point, and what would it look like for you to really embrace curiosity in that relationship so your primary goal is truly listening to them?

Here's to Bending Close to Listen this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.