Clarity

I've had some amazing conversations in the past couple weeks around the topic of communication.  We've talked about strategies, the different kind of choices we have around ways to communicate, and even what kind of medium might be best for various types of communication (text, email, phone calls, smoke signals, etc.).  

Throughout each of those engagements, I kept hearing Brene Brown's words ringing in my mind and heart - "Clear is Kind. Unclear is unkind."* It was a reminder to me that underneath all the layers of our conversations about communication, one of the bedrocks is our ability to Be Clear with each other.  Allow me to name just two simple categories where I think Clarity is crucial.

Expectations

Whether it's a job description, giving someone a task to complete, or helping to set a boundary, being clear about our expectations is truly a kindness we can give to others.  Perhaps I need to ask someone to help me get some tasks accomplished for a project we are working on. Being clear about what the task is, including what completion actually looks like, helps them know exactly what we are expecting and sets them up for success.  Or maybe we are hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year, and I want to make sure the day doesn't go sideways. So, I give the gift of Clarity and let everyone know what topics are welcome to be discussed and what topics are off limits for the day.

Being Clear about our expectations is truly a gift we can give to others in our lives.

Feedback

This is another area where Clarity can have a big impact.  First, we can let people know our preferences for the type of feedback we appreciate.  Some people like immediate feedback. Others prefer a more formal approach, like writing it down and having a set time to discuss it.  If we understand ourselves well and we know what we prefer, helping those around us know what works well for us is a gift to them.  Second, as others let us know how they prefer to receive feedback, we do our best to meet them in that way as well.  For example, if I am working with someone and they prefer more immediate, in the moment feedback, but I prefer a more formalized approach, I am going to try and use their preference when I give them feedback, rather than wait and do it the way I would prefer.

Being Clear about our feedback preferences and doing our best to use those appropriately is a kindness we can give to each other.

Can you think of a time when someone was trying to communicate an expectation with you and it just wasn't very clear? How did you feel? What did you do to try and find Clarity?  In contrast, can you also think of a time when someone was very clear about their expectations or maybe their feedback? How did that feel and how could you continue to function like that more often with others in your life?  Perhaps there is a particular situation happening right now where Clarity isn't happening very well.  What could you do to help bring greater Clarity to the situation for everyone involved?

Here's to Being Clear this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

*Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors and researchers on being a great human and leader and has written and spoken about this topic in many places, including her book, Dare to Lead.

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