Mind the Gap

I've had some interesting conversations in recent weeks with people related to the idea of assumptions and expectations. As my brain has been processing those ideas, I have come to a realization that we must be careful to Mind the Gap (if you've been to London or seen videos of their tube system, perhaps you'll hear that with a British accent in your head!).

Here's what I mean - often there is a gap that exists between what we actually know about something - a situation, a relationship, a set of unfolding circumstances - and what our brain assumes is happening.  Our natural tendency is to fill in the Gap with all kinds of stories, ideas, and potential meanings that may not actually be there, so we need to pay attention and Mind the Gap!

Here's an example. I was in a group chat recently and sent a simple reply to someone that I thought was clear - because I knew what I meant. However, someone else in the chat asked me about my reply and explained that the way they perceived my reply was very different than what I was actually intending to communicate. There was a Gap between what I meant, what I said, and what they perceived and understood by what I sent!  Thankfully, they used curiosity to approach the Gap and we were able to learn how my message could have been understood - which helped me do a better job communicating in the future, and it helped them better understand my intent, which helped to clear up the particular situation.  We took some time to intentionally Mind the Gap together, and both of us were better for it!

Where are the places you need to Mind the Gap in your own life?  Are there certain situations or particular people where it is easy for you to fill in the Gap with all kinds of assumptions and meanings that may not actually be there?  What if we used a simple tool like curiosity, and we just asked some basic questions to help us Mind the Gap?  Perhaps we could start by asking ourselves the simple question, "What do I actually know?" Maybe that would help to keep us grounded in reality and not drift too far off into assumption land?!

Here's to Minding the Gap this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.