The Thief of Joy

I was chatting with a leader this week and they said a phrase that really stood out to me.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I've been thinking about it ever since they said it and wanted to share a few thoughts with you.

In one of the trainings I do with leaders and teams, we talk about a disease I call Comparitivitus. Basically, it's a simple (silly) version of this beautiful phrase from my friend. When we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of Comparison, we will always come up with a feeling of falling short, or not measuring up to a more perfect standard, or not being enough.  And I think social media has made this 10 times worse. Most of the images we see on our platforms of choice are curated images of the best of people's lives (or at least the better parts of it).  Sometimes you will run into the minority account that shows "Here's what my regular Tuesday looked like when I went to Costco in my sweatpants to get gas!" But for the most part, it's "Look at this amazing sunset I saw tonight on my vacation in Bora Bora! #blessed" Or, "These are the most incredible cookies I've ever tasted, and look how cute they look with their spooky spider web frosting! #BestHalloween #Blessed"

I know I am exaggerating (kind of!), but when I see all of those curated images (and then all the ones the algorithm brings too), it's easy to fall into the trap of, "My Halloween cookies never look that good." or "I wish I could go to Bora Bora instead of visiting my family in Nebraska!"  I lose the simple joy of making cookies for my family because I am trying to make them "measure up" to some other standard I've decided is a better outcome.  Or I miss the joy and beauty of being with my family because I think I should be somewhere else on a more perfect vacation instead.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

So how do we not let Comparison steal our joy? I'm glad you asked!

I know it would be easy to say, "Just get off of social media" but I think it's more than that. I think it's about starting with a healthy perspective that recognizes most of those images are super curated (and only going to be more so with AI), so it's not realistic for me think they are the "standard" I should be striving for.  Then I think we add to that healthy perspective the process of practicing gratitude for what we do have.  I believe this two-fold approach - a realistic perspective combined with a good dose of gratitude - can really help to protect us from letting Comparison steal our joy.

How about you? In what ways are you tempted to allow Comparison to steal your joy?  Are there certain situations that create those feelings of not measuring up or being enough in some way? Do you think there are specific circumstances where you need to apply a more healthy perspective and practice some gratitude for what is already true? What other tools have you found that help you combat the disease of Comparitivitus?

Here's to not letting Comparison steal our joy this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

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