Ok. You know how this works. I have some chats with various people. Read some stuff. Hear something interesting. Then those threads come together into a central idea that I share here with you! So of course it happened again, and it feels timely this week.
I don't know if you realize this, but we are on the eve of an election here in the US?! In case you weren't aware, there has been this interesting phenomenon in the past several election cycles here in our country (and it actually runs deeper than that in history) where the division and animosity has ramped up and escalated to what feels like epic proportions. Now, we could spend a ton of time looking for the root causes and trying to place blame, but that would be an exercise in futility (in my mind anyway). What I think is more important, is to acknowledge that what has resulted in almost every corner of this process is the "other" has become a "them." What I mean by that is we've stopped seeing people who have names and hopes and dreams, and we've reduced them to "the other side" or some ideology, or we've lumped them together into some other generic category. For example, it seems rather tragic that we've heard the term "garbage" thrown around by people on both sides of the US political aisle in reference to people on the "other side."
While we could spend a lot of time trying to figure out "Who started it?" that would most likely only result in a never-ending circle of, "Yeah, but they...!" or "Yeah, but you....!" What I am most interested in is how I can be part of ending this awful cycle. And to be clear, I don't think the results of an election are somehow going to magically make it all go away. I think it actually starts with individual choices, in individual relationships. It has to start with me. In other words, I can't change the national conversation (or even the one in my local city or county by myself), but I CAN do something about how I See Them. I can decide they are a person with a name and a story, rather than just someone in that group with a predetermined ideology. I can attempt to be curious and at least start by wondering what their hopes and dreams are and how we might be able to find some common ground together in our humanness.
Please understand, I think I am probably writing this message to myself this week more than I am writing it to you. It's so easy for me to fall into this trap of dehumanizing the "other" and to just stop Seeing Them. But I want to be someone who Sees THEM - a person with a name and a story and a history and hopes and dreams, even if those may not line up with my desires. They are still someone, and I want to be the kind of person in the world who is actually trying to See Them.
With all the tension and anxiety in the air right now, would you be willing to join me in trying to See Them? Is there someone who comes to your mind that you could wonder about with curiosity, considering what might be in their story that may be contributing to their perspective? Is there someone you are tempted to refer to with a "name" other than their actual name, and could you start by just refusing to use that derogatory term and only refer to them by their actual name?
I'm going to do my best to See Them this week. Would you join me?
Be Well,
Stephen
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