Story

Sitting with me around the large rectangle of tables (with a few extras added on zoom) was a collaborative team of about 25 people. This group oversaw one section of work under a very large organization. Spread out around the room was "the leader," the second in charge, 4 team leaders, and all of the individuals who made up each of the teams.  They had invited me in to facilitate a conversation with them about how to take better care of themselves.  Even though their whole team was present, they were still missing about 6-8 full time, unfilled positions from what their normal "operational capacity" would have been. As a result, everyone had too much on their plates and their stress levels were maxed, thus my invitation to help. 

As our time together unfolded, I gave space for people to open up with a little vulnerability and share some Stories about the stress they were carrying and ways they were trying to cope with that stress.  Not surprisingly, as various individuals started to take some risks and share, they didn't just talk about stress at work, but sources of stress at home and with family, and the ways those were impacting their work too.  It wasn't long before I started to hear comments like, "Wow! I had no idea you were carrying all of that!" and "I'm so impressed with the way you are juggling all of that and yet you still always have such a positive and happy attitude!"  They were starting to see each other as more than just work colleagues, but as whole humans, and it seemed to raise the overall level of compassion and empathy for everyone in the room.

This is the power of Story!

When we take time to listen to someone else and learn more about who they are and what they are experiencing, our typical reaction is to gain a greater sense of compassion and empathy for them. Sharing our Stories brings greater connection and helps us know we are not alone in the world and that others aren't as different from us as we may have imagined. When we take time to give space for Stories to emerge, our sense of collective belonging grows and deepens, and we open up to even greater possibilities.

I realize you may be thinking, "That takes too much time! You had a few hours with those people, and I just don't have that kind of time!"  Then let me tell you another Story!  I have a part time job at our local airport, and sometimes I get to check people in at the front counter.  That process centers around a simple transaction: you give me your ID, I look up your reservation, then get you and your bags checked in and give you what you need to head to security. Sometimes it's obvious people don't want to talk very much (especially at the 4 AM flight!), but most of the time while I'm looking things up in the computer, I'll ask something simple like, "Are you headed to [destination] for work or for fun?"  That question often results in a Story that might not take more than 60 seconds to tell, but still creates a better connection between us. The transaction doesn't really take any longer than it would have, but those small Stories generate the same type of results (compassion, empathy, connection, belonging), just on a micro scale!

This is the power of Story!  

As you reflect on your week, where did you hear some good Stories and how did they impact you? Can you think of a situation where you were able to share a Story and it created greater connection with the person you told it to? Is there a regular part of your work or life where you might use the micro-Story idea to help open up compassion and empathy a little more?  

Here's to using the power of Story in our lives this coming week!

Be Well,

Stephen

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