Healing

I am grateful to be back from some time away and sharing some thoughts with you again this week, but I must admit, I have had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to write, which is why this is just now coming to you on a Thursday!

Part of it is because I have been confronted with a lot of ups and downs of life that just seem to be connected to the complexity of our world.  Some of it is probably related to the fact that I tried to unplug from social media, news, etc. while I was gone, and now the firehose of non-stop information is flowing again (maybe we'll think about that in another message!). Regardless of the source, I have felt a bit overwhelmed to be honest. 

Then I stumbled across these words this morning, and I thought, "That is exactly what I want to share this week!"  I hope these words ring as true in your heart today as they have in mine!

This world will break your heart. There’s enough sorrow to go around and for everyone to have seconds. 

But this world has a thousand forms of medicine too. 

I’ve yet to find healing in: 

Self-pity, isolation, pretending I am not hurting, comparison, hardening myself, standing in judgment (although it sure feels good). 

But I have found it in: 

Eye contact with another person who is in a tender place, the rare moments I stop filling in the blank about another person, compassion toward myself and others, remaining open hearted in moments I want to shut down, … using my pain to see it in others rather than only in myself. *

Here's to being someone who is working to bring Healing into the world!

Be Well,

Stephen

* Nadia Bolz-Weber, “Humans Are Inconveniently Complex,” The Corners (blog), March 11, 2024.

Nadia is one of my favorite authors and I continue to be challenged by the beautiful way she sees the world in it's full complexity!

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

GETMO!

I have a client I work with who referenced an idea with me recently called GETMO or Good Enough To Move On.  They said they learned it from a leader named Craig Groeschel and some of their leadership material.  I don't know if Craig is the first person to think of this idea, but it certainly is a great idea to consider.

GETMO is the solution to a problem I sometimes talk about when I am working with leaders that I call "paralysis by analysis" or "the paralysis of perfection." Here's how I observe this functioning.  An individual or a team is working on a project or a problem and they have the solution or answer clearly in mind and are diligently working toward completion or implementation. But sometimes there can be a moment where, "It's close, but not quite there!" There is a perfect solution that we see, or are trying to find, and we just don't have it at 100% yet.  So we keep analyzing and working to get to that place of it being exactly right.

While trying to implement the best solutions to problems isn't bad, I've seen people get so stuck in the last 5-15% of trying to get to perfection that they actually don't end up doing anything. They spin out trying to find the place of perfection. And this is where GETMO can be really helpful because getting to the place of perfection may not actually be possible! Instead, if we make a decision that recognizes we've gotten far enough to move forward, that is way better than getting stuck in analysis!

Here's another way to think about this.  I am an iPhone user. I think we are currently on version 15 of the iPhone (or something like that). I am sure that when they came out with the very first one, they knew there were a whole lot more features they could include. And, as fast as technology moves, if they had kept developing and working to get to perfection, we still probably wouldn't have version #1.  But at some point the team at Apple decided, "It's GETMO!" It's good enough to put it out into the world while we still keep working on developing and making it better, which is why I am now using an iPhone 15!

There are certainly lots of places in our lives where we might apply this idea of GETMO, but where does it resonate the most with you? Is there an area in which you are caught in the loop of paralysis by analysis? Are you working to achieve some type of perfection that may not actually be possible, and what would it mean if you just decided to GETMO?

Whatever you may be working on this week, take some time to consider if GETMO would be a helpful approach!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

The Universal/Particular Dance

I've recently been reminded of a pattern that exists in our world and lives, namely that the Universal is lived out in the Particulars, and the Particulars helps to reveal the Universal.

Here's an example.  It's Spring so that means it's planting season, and we've been busy putting in flowers, vegetables, a few bushes, etc.  In our household, I am the hardscape guy. Someone else decides what to plant and where to plant it, then I help dig the holes, run the water, set the sprinklers, etc. The Universal reality is, in Redding, all plants need regular water. However, it's not enough for me to just spray a hose around every once in a while.  I have 6 Particular water lines that run in my backyard, and I have to make sure with many of our plants that each Particular plant actually has its own water. The Universal reality is, plants need water to grow, which means I have to consider how much to water each Particular plant.  

But what is so beautiful to watch over time (thanks to the smart people who decide what goes where!), is that as each Particular plant grows, they create a beautiful garden, full of sections and zones, and eventually, fruits and vegetables.  Each of the Particular plants helps to form the Universal garden we get to sit and enjoy as we sip our iced tea in the backyard!

Now if we take this idea and apply it to people and relationships (family, friends, coworkers, teams, etc.), we may have a Universal desire to treat people with kindness and respect. But, that Universal desire actually gets lived out in the Particular relationships of my life.  If I want to be Universally kind, that has to find its way into my showing kindness to this Particular person who is standing in front of me.  And of course, how I treat Particular individuals, viewed collectively, can reveal Universal patterns about how I am acting in general.  Often, if I am willing to lean in with curiosity, by examining these patterns of how I treat Particulars, I may be able to discover Universal patterns that contain bias or even prejudice that I want to address and change. And of course, those changes will have to be lived out in the Particular relationships I have with people I interact with on a personal level.

How might looking at these patterns be helpful to you?  What kind of Universal qualities or values do you want to be hallmarks of your life?  What does it look like to live out those patterns in the Particular relationships of your life? If you took some time to honestly reflect on the Particular interactions from your life in the last few weeks, what might those Particulars reveal about some Universal patterns you need to examine and change?  How could you adjust your interactions with Particular people in order to better reflect the Universal values you want to hold and live by?

Here's to allowing the Universal/Particular Dance to be lived out well in our lives this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.