Here we are - our final look at the 8 Cs of Self-Leadership from the IFS-Institute and their founder, Dr. Richard Schwartz (Calm, Curiosity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, Courage, Clarity, and Connectedness). Hopefully, this series has created some positive focus as we keep moving forward into 2025.
We've already touched on Calm, Curiosity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, Courage, and Clarity, and this week we turn our attention to the final C - Connectedness.
Connectedness
In their approach to Connectedness, the IFS-Institue focuses on connections that are both small and large, or as another one of my friends would say, in the particular and the universal.
When we think about small Connections, that means we are seeking to connect with particular individuals or a team or group. Meaningful connection happens with people we can see face to face and learn their name and their story. We get to know them, and they get to know us - we become connected. Obviously, there can be different strengths of Connection in this particular way, because we may feel a stronger sense of connection with certain individuals or groups than we do with others.
This is where another aspect of the IFS-Institute's perspective is also helpful, namely that the purpose of Connection is to help us relax and find a greater sense of comfort and peace in being our authentic selves. It's absolutely critical that we seek and find the kind of particular Connections that allow us to (in their words) "relax your defenses with others as you know that you won't be judged or controlled."
But there is also a critical element in discovering a sense of Connectedness in the more universal and expansive way, like with a religion, some type of spirituality, or even just a general sense of being connected to something greater than ourselves. This larger sense of Connectedness is critical because it helps us to step back and hold our present circumstances with greater transcendence or a feeling that we know "this" isn't everything.
When we find Connection to the more universal, we are able to hold our present circumstances with more of a loose grip and not let it consume or overwhelm us.
Finally, it's important to remember that the point isn't to achieve some level of Connectedness, but to celebrate the Connections we have and learn how to grow into a greater sense of Connectedness, both in the particular and the universal. This is a journey of movement and ongoing growth and discovery in our Connections.
As you think about these two aspects of Connectedness, what particular Connections can you celebrate and cultivate today? Who do you have in your life that helps you feel more grounded and comfortable being yourself, and how could you grow those kinds of particular Connections in your life? And what about the universal? Is there a larger framework that you are drawn to and feel a sense of Connection with? How cold you explore that expansive Connection in a way that helped you step back from your circumstances and see them from a healthier perspective?
Here's to cultivating our Connectedness this week!
Be Well,
Stephen
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