Listen & Expand

I was chatting with some leaders earlier today and I shared with them a new quote I heard in the past couple of weeks.  Unfortunately, I can't remember where I heard it, otherwise I'd give credit where it's due (so if you know, let me know and I'll share)!

Listen to understand and ask to expand.

Let's break it down:

Listen to Understand.  I've written about listening before, so it won't come as a surprise that I think listening, and especially reflective listening, is the absolute best tool to gain clarity and understanding.  When I am in a conversation and I want to make sure I Understand what they are saying, I will often just say, "What I think I hear you saying is...." I find out in a hurry if I have either hit or missed the mark in my listening. Much of the time, if I have missed the mark it's because I stopped listening part way through and starting thinking about my response before I actually listened to them all the way to the end. 

Ask to Expand.  Once I know I have fully Understood, if I want to know more, I engage the superpower of curiosity and ask follow up questions.  One of my favorites is to simple say, "Tell me more about that."  By asking to Expand before I begin my reply or my response, I will often get even greater clarity and insight into what might be motivating this person to share what they are saying. I can listen for more than just the understanding of their words, I can actually open up a window into their perspective and maybe even their values and heart.

Listen to understand and ask to expand.

Not very complicated, but certainly very powerful!

Where might you use these two pieces in your life this week? Is there a particular situation you are facing where listening and then expanding might open up other perspectives and possibilities?

Here's to listening to Understand and asking to Expand this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

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