Reflect

I recently took some time to read back through some of the entries in my personal journal from this past year.  It was a good reminder of just how important it can be to take time to periodically Reflect in our lives, and since this is my final message to you from 2023, it seemed like a good topic for this week.  

Reflecting can help us slow down

When we think about what has already happened in our lives, it forces us to slow down and actually remember events, circumstances, and even people we have encountered along our journey.  Often this can lead us to a greater sense of gratitude, and even give us time to celebrate accomplishments and achievements. Slowing down through reflecting can also help us learn from the past and guide us as we make decisions about moving forward in our lives.  It's important to not let the reflection lead us into a sense of regret, but rather determination for making change and identifying places we want to grow and improve.

Reflecting can help us see patterns

As I read through some of my entries, it was interesting to see trends and patterns in thinking that emerged.  Some of those themes were very positive, and some of them were a bit challenging, but all of them helped me grow in my own journey of self-awareness. By taking time to Reflect, I was able to discover patterns that I may have missed and allow them to spur me on in continuing those trends or recognizing changes that I need to make. 

Reflecting can help us gain perspective

One pattern I was able to witness in my Reflection was there were times when I was very concerned about a situation or a relationship, and it was obviously taking up a lot of my attention.  But in Reflection, I was able to see those things weren't nearly as significant as I thought they might be at the time. I was also able to observe that there were other circumstances and relationships that at the time, didn't really seem to be that big of a deal, but they actually had a significant impact on my life. By Reflecting, I was able to look back through the lens of hindsight and really gain some valuable perspective from my life.

During this final week of 2023, what do you think you might be able to see if you took some time to Reflect?  How could that process help you slow down and learn?  What patterns might emerge from some thoughtful Reflection on this past year?  How might looking back through the lens of hindsight help you gain a better perspective and understanding of just how you were impacted by events and relationships in 2023?

Here's to finding some real value for ourselves by taking time to Reflect on 2023 this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Bending Close to Listen

This past week I ran across this phrase while I was reading: "Bending close to listen - without presumption, but with curiosity."  I was really struck by that and thought it was worth reflecting on with you this week.

One of the first things that impacted me was the idea of needing to be close to really listen to someone. Certainly, you don't need to actually be close to a person to listen to them, especially if they are yelling(!), but if someone is that animated in their communication, there is usually some kind of barrier to them feeling like they are being heard.  It could be a physical barrier, like being in a loud environment, but it also could be an emotional barrier where they are so frustrated at feeling truly unheard it causes them to raise their voice. This is part of the reason I am so intrigued by the idea of bending close, because it implies that the motivation of the listener is to actually listen and really hear what the other person is saying!

It also is a powerful reminder that by bending close we get the opportunity to listen to more than just their words.  We get to pay attention to their body language and the emotions they may be projecting.  Bending close allows us to listen and sense what may be behind their words, which helps us come to a richer place of true understanding. And let's not forget, that is actually the point of any communication, two-way understanding.

This is also why it is so important to bend close without presumption, and instead approach with curiosity. If I'm honest, sometimes I will bend in close to listen, but with my presumption in place, which means I am still more interested in them hearing my perspective than I am trying to hear them and their perspective.  I listen, but only so I can make my next point! However, if I bend in close and let go of my presumptions and embrace true curiosity, I am much more likely to foster a space where everyone feels heard and understood.

As you think about this idea of bending in close to listen, what relationships immediately come to mind? Are there places where others are "yelling," and if so, how could you help to remove barriers in the communication environment to lower the volume? What presumptions might you be holding that need to be released, and how could you move in with greater curiosity? Who have you been listening to, but only so you can make your next point, and what would it look like for you to really embrace curiosity in that relationship so your primary goal is truly listening to them?

Here's to Bending Close to Listen this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

More Awe & Wonder!

After sending last week's message about Awe & Wonder, I kept running across other writings about the same topic! It's kind of funny how it seems like that happens - a lesson I need to learn keeps coming across my path!

Rather than use my own words again, I wanted to share some powerful words from author Cole Arthur Riley, from their work, This Here Flesh*.

I think awe is an exercise, both a doing and a being. It is a spiritual muscle of our humanity that we can only keep from atrophying if we exercise it habitually. I sit in the clearing behind [my home] listening to the song of the barn swallows mix with the sound of cars speeding by. I watch the milk current through my tea and the little leaves dance free from their pouch. I linger in the mirror and I don’t look away. I trace the shadows hugging my lips and I don’t look away. Awe is not a lens through which to see the world but our sole path to seeing. Any other lens is not a lens but a veil. And I’ve come to believe that our beholding—seeing the veils of this world peeled back again and again, if only for a moment—is no small form of salvation.

When I speak of wonder, I mean the practice of beholding the beautiful. Beholding the majestic—the snow-capped Himalayas, the sun setting on the sea—but also the perfectly mundane—that soap bubble reflecting your kitchen, the oxidized underbelly of that stainless steel pan. More than the grand beauties of our lives, wonder is about having the presence to pay attention to the commonplace. It could be said that to find beauty in the ordinary is a deeper exercise than climbing to the mountaintop….

Wonder includes the capacity to be in awe of humanity, even your own. It allows us to jettison the dangerous belief that things worthy of wonder can only be located on nature hikes and scenic overlooks. This can distract us from the beauty flowing through us daily. For every second that our organs and bones sustain us is a miracle. When those bones heal, when our wounds scab over, this is our call to marvel at our bodies—their regeneration, their stability or frailty. This grows our sense of dignity. To be able to marvel at the face of our neighbor with the same awe we have for the mountaintop, the sunlight refracting—this manner of vision is what will keep us from destroying each other….

Wonder requires a person not to forget themselves but to feel themselves so acutely that their connectedness to every created thing comes into focus. In sacred awe, we are a part of the story.

See why I wanted to share this with you?!  Powerful words!

I'll wrap up by asking the same questions from last week. How could you invite a little more awe and wonder in your life this week?  What impact might that make on your life and outlook?  

Here's to embracing some more awe and wonder this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

*Cole Arthur Riley, This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us (New York: Convergent, 2022), 31–32, 36, 37.

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.