Bearing Witness

Welcome to your midweek pick me up!

Oops! It happened again - a series of conversations and circumstances led me to this week's topic, Bearing Witness!

First, I heard stories of people showing up for someone in their life, or they had someone show up for them. Then, I witnessed various groups of people gathering together to express their collective concerns for another group of people, mostly those who are on the "margins" of society. Next, I had a friend whose elderly mother passed away and a coworker of theirs didn't really say anything, they just gave their friend a hug, and it meant everything to them.  Finally, I was having a conversation with a leader and they said, "Often, my most valuable tool is to simply come alongside the people I lead and just bear witness with them to their work and lives."

And there it was - the phrase that perfectly expressed this thread I was seeing and feeling! So, I decided to write my own definition (I know, kind of presumptuous of me, but words matter and sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is to try and put things into my own words because they stick better)!

Bearing Witness: The act of simply showing up for another person; joining with others in a simple act of solidarity motivated by compassion and empathy; finding the common thread of human connection with another in a way that helps both parties know they aren't alone.

Maybe we could give ourselves a small gift today? Rather than powering our way through the rest of this email,  what if we slowed down and took a few extra moments to reflect on the following:

When was a time someone simply showed up for you? Did they even have to use words?  Who was it and how could you be grateful for them and that moment? Be grateful that they bore witness with you!

As you think about your circle of influence right now, is there someone you can simply show up for this week?  How could you do that without needing to use too many words, or even any at all? Or maybe you need to use some simple words by picking up the phone and making that call, or sending that card? Bear Witness with them!

Reflect on a time when a group joined together to stand with someone or a group of individuals who may have been very different than them, but they did it because their compassion and empathy drove them to action? Maybe there is something happening in your community that really matters to you? Could you find a way to use your voice to show your solidarity? Take the step to Bear Witness in a collective way!

Is there someone in your life that you are struggling with? Perhaps you are on opposite sides of an issue, or they did something that really upset you? Rather than dig in your heels, could you look for a small (maybe very small!) thread of common human connection with them?  What would it mean to work to use that connection as the place to move forward and discover neither of you are actually alone? Find a way to Bear Witness to their humanity in a way that creates solidarity!

One thing is very clear to me, in each of the circumstances I was privileged to either hear about or observe, those acts of Bearing Witness may not have changed the trajectory of the world, but they made an incredibly significant impact on the individuals who were receiving them!

Here's to being people who are willing to Bear Witness with others this week (and beyond)! It matters!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Your Voice

Happy Wednesday & Welcome to your mid-week pick-me-up!

I recently attended a conference and one of the keynote speakers was sharing about the ways our brains create stories of meaning out of what we experience. I also recently ran across this video that speaks to the same reality.

In both the words of the speaker, and the message of the video, one thing came through - the stories in our heads aren't always as accurate as we want and think they are! Too often they can be based on assumptions we make about others, or we take things on ourselves from external expectations that may have more to do with cultural norms than actual reality.  

Following the example from the above video, we may make up a story about the person who just stole our parking spot that is based more on assumptions than actual facts.  In that situation the story we created was based on our assumptions about the other person, which it turns out, wasn't the whole story at all!  

But this is often even more true about the story we embrace about ourselves from our own Voice inside of us.  Did you know that the person you listen to the most in any given day is actually yourself?!  And that voice isn't always true either!  For example, the speaker at the conference told a really sad and tragic story about an incident they had in college that negatively shaped the story they were carrying around about themselves for years. Something happened externally that was based on some terrible, unrealistic cultural norms, that caused this person to listen to their own voice tell them they weren't enough for years!  But, they eventually came to realize that the story their own voice was telling them wasn't actually true and they got to be in control of that Voice inside of them and what it was saying.  Then they dropped this powerful gem:

Since the person you listen to the most on any given day is yourself, Be Nice!  

Wow!  How many times do we allow our internal Voice to say negative things about us that aren't actually true? Ways we don't think we measure up to this expectation or that reality? How often is that Voice creating a story that is based more on assumptions or some unrealistic cultural norm, and what would it be like if we decided to be kind to ourselves and actually respond to ourselves with some love and grace?

I wish I could say I was a master at this, but I am actually right in this boat with you! However, it sure feels like it could make a big impact on us if we remembered to just be kind to ourselves!

Here's to reminding Our Voice to be nice this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Connect!

I've decided to make a change for my own sake and do my best to post these weekly messages on Wednesdays moving forward.  Consider it a Hump Day pick-me-up!

This week I want to think with you about making Connections.  To help with the idea - think Legos!

I actually love Legos! If you've ever met with me on Zoom or Teams, you may have seen some of my Lego sets in the background.  To me there's something very satisfying and very calming about building them.  Maybe it's the methodical process involved, but it is something that truly brings me a lot of joy.

Part of what makes building Legos so interesting to me is the variety of sizes, shapes and colors that are involved.  When I was a kid the only ones we had were basic squares and rectangles in about 5 or 6 simple colors. Now the variety is almost endless. What I also appreciate is the cool way they "click" together. When you take time to get them lined up the right way, the Connection they make is unmistakable.  

I've had several conversations in the past week with people about how critical making personal, face-to-face Connections are with people. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for a well worded email (he said in his weekly message!), or a quick Teams or text message. And I think social media can be a good source of a type of Connection, but I'm not sure anything can substitute for a real-life conversation!

For example, I heard a story this week of two friends who found themselves on opposite sides of a political issue. Rather than just dismiss each other and their opposing opinions, they decided to meet in person and talk. During the course of their conversation, they shared quotes and clips of things they had seen on each of their social media accounts that supported their own positions.  What they discovered was both of them were seeing truthful quotes and ideas, but only from a selected point of view. So, neither of them was actually getting the whole picture. It would be like trying to build a Lego set with only 2 colors or 3 kinds of pieces. The nuance and diversity was totally lost until they made a real-world Connection and shared an actual conversation!  Then they were able to build the whole Lego set together!

Now, for those of you who are Gen Z or later, please don't dismiss my perspective simply because I am an old guy! And for those of you who happen to be heavy on the Strategic domain of StrengthsFinder, don't let your desire for efficiency get in the way of a moment of consideration either! 

Here's what I have discovered and continue to learn from my years of working with people, organizations, and leadership circles: a live, face to face conversation holds incredible potential for significant Connection. It can help us find a way to "click" when it seems like there isn't a way for us to fit together.  It can open us up to a beautiful diversity of perspectives and ideas, and allow us to see how we can join together instead of taking a stand in opposition to each other.  And if we have the privilege of having the face to face conversation actually be in person, we can unleash the power of Connection through a handshake or a hug!

As you think about your realm of influence this week and the places you need to engage with others, how could you work to prioritize meaningful Connection? Could you pick up the phone and make a call rather than send an email, and how might that open up possibilities for greater Connection? Perhaps there is some tension in a relationship and rather than be curious over text with some emojis, what might the impact be if you extended an invitation to share a coffee together? At the very least, think about the circles of your life and who you may be able to make a Connection with, and consider how to make that a priority.

Here's to "clicking" into some great Connections this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we'd love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.